The Office

Dwight Schrute Quotes (Page 9)

Dwight: Of all feelings to base a show around, glee? Thirst, now that's a show I'd watch.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight (on phone): Hello, it's Dwight from the vestibule. You wanna know my 11th commandment? I will not be undersold. I am ready to love thy neighbor with these kinda discounts.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: As a gift to this beautiful congregation I would like to offer...a four percent discount on all Dunder Mifflin/Sabre products, if you buy a printer at full price.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: It's just that if a vampire coughed he would do it like this (coughs into crook of elbow).
Dwight: Right, and ruin their cloaks? Do you have any idea how expensive wool is in Transylvania? 'Cause of the Euro.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: I know how to sit on a fence. Hell, I can even sleep on a fence. The trick is to do it face down with the post in your mouth.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight [to Pam]: Looks like someone decided to dress up as old Dwight Schrute's mom. You're only one third as beautiful and about half her height.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jim: Stop.
Dwight: Too late. If I was the real Scranton Strangler, you'd be so strangled by now. And if you're out there Strangler, you will get caught, by me!
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Dwight: Drop the act, Cordray. Okay, we all know that you probably thought that Pam was too mehh. Or thin without being toned, but I want to tell you something. She is one of the plain, hearty women of Scranton that make this city great. And so what if she doesn't wear make-up. We like her better that way.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: People can't keep their true natures hidden for long and this guy is smoldering like a tire fire.
Michael: Testify.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: Meredith Van Helsing?
Dwight: Van Helsing was a respected professor before he was a vampire killer.
Jim: Okay, but what is he more famous for?
 • Rating: Unrated

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