The Office

Dwight Schrute Quotes (Page 9)

Robert: Alligators are dinosaurs Dwight. You know that right?
Dwight: Mmmm, it's complicated.
 • Rating: 3.8 / 5.0

Dwight: You're a perfectly fine toilet. I'm just an extraordinary piece of crap.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: I am always acting in self-defense...occasionally preemptive self-defense.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: What is your goal?
Darryl: Help me!
Dwight: What do you want?!
Darryl: To look good for Val!
Dwight: Val Kilmer?! I don't buy it; that doesn't make any sense!...Wow...We figured out your goal...I am gonna make you the buffest dude Val Kilmer has ever seen.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: We figured out your goal. I'm gonna make you the buffest dude Val Kilmer has ever seen.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: What do you want?!?!
Darryl: To look good for Val!
Dwight: Val Kilmer?!? I don't buy it. That doesn't make any sense.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: How do you think the Fonz got so cool? He stretched his pelvic bowl.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Darryl: I figured I'd start slow.
Dwight: Is that the same philosophy you apply to buffalo wings?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jim: Stop shoving me.
Dwight: Aww, stop shoving me. Stop grabbing my penis. Grow up.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: Does your husband have very soft erections?
 • Rating: Unrated

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