Dwight: You can all have jobs at Schrute Farms as human scarecrows. Although it doesn't pay much, and you can't unionize.• Show: The Office • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Dwight: [reading email] I'm sure you've seen the item in the Journal. I just want to stress that it's all conjecture, if we have any concrete information, you will know ASAP.
Michael: Erin, do we have the journal?
Erin: Your feelings journal? You told me to put it in the time capsule.
Michael: Did you?
Pam: He means the Wall Street Journal, online.
Michael. Oh, the Wall.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dwight: Michael, what is the meaning of this email that everyone got?
Michael: You'll have to be more specific, Dwight. I get like eight emails today.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dwight: You cannot go wrong with a throat punch.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dwight: Somebody attack me. Kevin, Go!
Kevin: No WAY. Last time, you pulled my pants down and then you tried to choke me with my shoelace.
Dwight: False. I DID choke you with your shoelace.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jim: In everyone's defense I think the most worthy opponent of you is ... you.
Dwight: That is correct. Unless there happen to be measles present.
• Show: The Office • Rating: 6.0 / 10 • Permalink
Dwight: Pam would you care for a bagel?
Pam: Oh, no thank you.
Dwight: Oh, that's right, you're a woman and you need to refuse food the first time. I'll try again. Please Pam, reconsider and have a bagel.
Pam: I have an early lunch.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dwight: Can't a guy just buy some bagels for his friends so they'll owe him a favor which he can use to get someone fired who stole a co-manager position from him anymore? Jeez. When did everyone get sooooo cynical?
• Show: The Office • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Dwight: Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim, is actually my friend. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy so actually Jim is my enemy. But-
• Show: The Office • Rating: 9.5 / 10 • Permalink
Michael: Any messages?
Erin: You're soaking wet.
Michael: Jim and I got caught in a little flash... rain. Flash winds, flash lightning.
Phyllis: Wow. Sounds scary.
Michael: It was. It was. And then in an instant, it wasn't!
Angela: Why isn't Jim wet?
Jim: I... outran it.
Meredith: I don't think it rained. My hip would be throbbing.
Michael: It rained.
Dwight: Michael, can I get you something? A towel, some cocoa?
Michael Scott: Nothing. Cocoa.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 411
