Creed: Hey Boss. Did you "Find Nemo"?Michael: I could name Pixar movies too. Toy Story!
Oscar: Don't you mean, Coy Story?
Phyllis: And when you fell in, did you Flounder?
Dwight: Michael, a flounder is both a kind of fish-
Michael: I know what a flounder is!
• Show: The Office • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Stanley: Michael don't listen to them.
Michael: Thank you Stanley.
Stanley: You just ignore their carping.
Michael: Okay.
Dwight: Michael.
Michael: Yes.
Dwight: A carp is both a fish and a term for complaining. They're mocking you with wordplay.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dwight: Where'd you get that mallard?
Kelly: What the hell is a mallard?
Dwight: THAT!
Kelly: Oh! Professor Damon D. Duck! Jim gave him to me.
Dwight: I gave that to him as a gift. I'm taking that back.
Kelly: If you take it back I'll scream.
Dwight: I'll give you five bucks for it.
Ryan: Twenty.
Dwight Schrute: Ten.
Ryan: Deal.
Kelly: You're so cool.
Ryan: This reminds me, you owe me three bucks for gas.
• Show: The Office • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Dwight: Volunteerism is important. Every weekend I volunteer at the local animal shelter, they need a lot of help down there. Last Sunday I had to put down 150 pets by myself.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Hey, alright! You know what clearly I'm outnumbered here but could I just say one thing? Please? What is so wrong about me. I'm caring. I'm generous. I'm sensual. Is it really so horrible that I could possibly go out and find happiness?
Phyllis: Good luck Michael. I hope you find what you're looking for.
Oscar: Maybe you're right. Who are we to-
Pam: Shut up Oscar! What is wrong with all of you!? He is sleeping with my mother!
Dwight: I don't think there's a whole lot of sleeping going on!
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dwight: [to Michael] You know, I really would've appreciated a heads up that you were into dating mothers. I would've introduced you to mine.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Andy: What happened in there?
Michael: Nothing. Other than once again I am thankful that I am a paper salesman.
Dwight: Did he threaten you?
Michael: No Dwight, not everything is a threat.
Andy: Mobsters are!
Michael: There is no such thing as monsters.
Andy: He drives an SUV.
Dwight: I knew it! More trunk-space. Or should I say corpse space.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Andy: What do you think?
Dwight: I think you're right. Definitely looks suspicious. And his Southern Italian heritage raises some flags.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dwight: 'R' is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it murder and not mukduk.
• Show: The Office • Rating: 9.6 / 10 • Permalink
Dwight: Do you know how to use that?
Andy: To change tires? No. But it's metal. I can hit somebody with it.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 411
