Dwight: Rolph is my best friend. We met in a shoe store. I heard him asking for a shoe that could increase his speed and not leave any tracks.• Show: The Office • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Dwight: I'm gonna say 30.
Rolph: Ah, 40. Insect repellent, which we clearly need, reduces the effectiveness of SPF.
Dwight: Good point, but, thought of that already. Combination SPF/repellent.
Rolph: Woah. Homemade?
Dwight: Of course. You think the EPA would ever allow that much DEET? [both laugh]
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dwight: Normally I don't condone leaving early, but I have an appointment with the horse doctor. How that horse became a doctor, I don't know. [laughs] No, I'm kidding. He's just a regular doctor who shoots your horse in the head when its leg is broken.
• Show: The Office • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Jim: [whispering] Okay, I'm gonna go in there and change the computer. Are you sure you can change his watch?
Pam: [whispering] I can do it.
Dwight: [whispering] What do you need from me?
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Hey! Hey! Jim and Pam! Can you believe this? It's really happening.
Phyllis: Wanna dance, Dwight?
Dwight: Ordinarily I would say no but you need to move to reduce lactic acid build-up. Also, this song is fantastic.
Bob Vance: Mind if I steal my wife?
Dwight: You can't steal what is legally your property.
Bob Vance: Are those staples?
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dwight: This is oil from the gland of an otter. It keeps their fur water resistant, as well as traps heat. Now I need you to lie still for an hour.
Phyllis: An hour? I can't stay here an hour.
Dwight: Whoa! Whoa, whoa, girl. Whoa. Whoa.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Phyllis: That feels good, Dwight.
Dwight: Tell me where it hurts.
Phylis: Right... mmmm... right there.
Dwight: Oh yeah. you've got a knot in your crest. This remedy has been passed down in my family for generations. and it always works. My grandfather was told that Diamond Dancer would never race again. they were wrong. He came in 9th in the Apple Creek Derby and his jerky came in 3rd the following year. A majestic beast. So fast. So tender.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dwight: No kidding! She sits three feet from me. It's the most annoying thing. [mimics grinding teeth] It's like children singing Christmas carols.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dwight: You comfy? Alright? Alright. Relax. Relax, ok?
Phyllis: Dwight! Dwight!
Dwight: Come on. Relax. The shirt wasn't doing you any favors. If my assessment in correct, you grind your teeth?
Phyllis: I do.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Oh, no. No. No. This is no good.
Dwight: Yeah. Back injuries are common. Not as common as knee injuries but more common than wrist injuries.
Michael: I don't need you to give me a history lesson. Ok?
Dwight: What do you think history is?
Michael: It's just, we need to get her out of here because no one is going to want to go in there with a woman writhing around on the floor. Wait, wait, wait. But most importantly we need to get her some medical attention. ASAP. Stat.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 411
