Dwight: Who tipped you over? Was it Phillip?Phyllis: It's my back.
Michael: It's her back. We just - We need - Let's - You know what?
Phyllis: Call a doctor.
Michael: We're going to take care of you. We're gonna get you help. Let's - come on.
Phyllis: No. Call Bob.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Erin: Hi, guys. How you doing?
Dwight: Erin, how many times do I have to tell you? It is not necessary for you to ask us how we are doing every time you interact with us.
Erin: Right. I'm sorry.
Dwight: [sighs] Now, how can I help you?
Erin: Did somebody here leave a map in the printer to Youngstown, Ohio?
Dwight: Attention, office. Who here is planning a trip to Youngstown, Ohio? I will take your silence to mean that you are all hiding something. This location is the Superior Court -
Pam: So someone is going to a court. Big deal.
Dwight: It is a big deal. Cause there's only a handful of reasons why someone would ever go to a courthouse in Ohio and not be charged with a crime. To claim an inheritance from a deceased relative. To obtain a learner's permit at age 14 and a half instead of 15. Erin, let me see your birth certificate.
Erin: Sure.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Michael: Guys, I'm scared. I'm really scared. I think I'm growing into a giant. Because look at this normal sized coffee cup. Looks so tiny in my giant hand now. Anybody want to go to lunch with me later on?
Dwight: I do.
Michael: Okay. How about a woman? Pam?
Pam: Oh, I can't do lunch. I was just sending you an email. Jim and I need to leave early today to meet with our contractor.
Michael: Oh, really? Ok.
Pam: Just sent it.
Michael: What about the rest of you?
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Erin: Oh my God! I can't believe it! I jut won an art contest! [Erin screams, Pam and Jim look at each other, Dwight, laughing, gets up and hands her some money]
Erin: [whispering] Thanks. I still don't understand why you wanted me to say that.
Dwight: Shut up.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Andy: You don't understand clothing, Toby. You're dressed like this amorphous blob of khaki.
Toby: All right, look, what you gotta understand is that when you come to work, you give up certain rights.
Dwight: Listen up, Flenderson. You're being weak and ineffectual. I'm cowboying this meeting, okay? Here are the new rules. Earth tones only. Also, women are forbidden to wear pants.
Toby: All right, come. Sit down, Dwight.
Dwight: No.
Toby: I'm running this meeting.
Dwight: That's debatable.
Toby: It's not. It's not. Sit down or I am writing you up.
Meredith: Ooh, where has this guy been?
Toby: Casual Fridays are cancelled. [everyone protests] Let's just not do it anymore.
Andy: You're running from the problem.
Toby: There's not a single appropriate outfit in this whole--except mine, quite honestly.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Ryan: I'm sorry you feel that way, Mr. Bart. Is there anything I can do to make things better?
Dwight: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Give me the phone. Give me the phone.
Ryan: Exactly.
Dwight: That's my client.
Ryan: Exactly. This is your first complaint in ten years.
Dwight: Give me the phone.
Ryan: Things have been generally good.
Dwight: Give me the phone. Tell him Dwight Schrute wants to talk to him.
Ryan: Look, uh, Mr. Bart...
Dwight: Hi, Mr. Bart.
Ryan: At these prices with this service...
Dwight: Hey, it's Dwight here. Give me the phone.
Ryan: You're not gonna find this anywhere else.
Dwight: Dwight Schrute here. Hey, don't hang up.
Ryan: No, no, no. Sir, don't listen.
Dwight: I know times are tough right now, and I laud your thriftiness. [tries to pull phone out of Ryan's hand] Ryan!
Phyllis: Ryan, hand the phone over.
Ryan: Stop flustering me, everybody!
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dwight: Stanley, how do you feel about those two taking your clients?
Stanley: It's not right. I don't like it.
Dwight: He doesn't like it.
Phyllis: You don't take my clients away and give them to a secretary. [sighs] No offense, Jim. I think she's very pretty.
Dwight: Her face is okay, but-- Jesus! What --what are you doing here?
Meredith: I don't know. I saw a crowd. I thought there might be a dogfight or something--
Dwight: Get out! We need to do something. I'm thinking maybe a coup or we take Ryan hostage.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Andy: Andrew Bernard.
Dwight: Okay, what are you still doing at your desk?
Andy: What are you still doing not at your desk?
Dwight: Did you even read the memo?
Andy: All my files are now in reverse alphabetical order--
Dwight: No, you idiot. There is a code embedded in the memo. Listen, you need to round up all the salesmen, except for Ryan and Pam, and get them down to the warehouse pronto.
Andy: Oh, it is on like a prawn who yawns at dawn.
Dwight: Stop doing rhyming poetry. Just tell them, please. God, the simplest thing.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dwight: When held over heat the invisible ink will reveal that everyone should meet at the warehouse immediately. Do not ask me where I got the invisible ink. Urine. It was urine.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dwight: Fresh hot ink.
Stanley: "New File System."
Dwight: Trust me, Stanley, you're going to want to read this memo very carefully.
Stanley: I am not changing the way I do my files.
Dwight: No, no. This goes for all of you. Believe me, you are going to want to heat my words.
• Show: The Office • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 411
