Desperate Housewives

Edie Britt Quotes (Page 9)

Martha: What are you doing?
Edie: I am taking back the $40 that you stole out of my purse.
Martha: Edie!
Edie: We both know you did it, now hand it over!
Martha: I have taken nothing from your purse, and if you're missing money, I'd ask one of those strange men you parade through here at all hours.
Edie: I am not going to apologize for having a healthy sex life!
Martha: Healthy? I'm going to have to burn every sheet you've touched
 • Rating: Unrated

Edie: I want my money.
Martha: And I want those non-fat peach yogurts. They didn't just walk out of that fridge by themselves.
Edie: Well you can deduct it from the $40 that you're going to give me, now!
Martha: You're my best friend. Why would I steal from you?
Edie: It's no secret that you've been having financial problems. I hear you bitching on the phone to your bank.
Martha: That's it! I can put up with your debauchery and your food theft, but I will not tolerate spying. I want you out.
Edie: You don't mean that.
Martha: Oh, yes I do. I'm leaving tomorrow to visit my sister for a few days. I want you gone by the time I get back.
Edie: I'll do one better. I will leave today
 • Rating: Unrated

Edie: For the record, I was rooting for you to land him.
Susan: And why would you root for me?
Edie: Well, I figured it would be easier for me to steal Mike from you than her - she seems like fun!
 • Rating: Unrated

Edie: Hey, how was your big date?
Susan: Mike had to reschedule.
Edie: Oh. Because of the hot girl? With the suitcase? Over there? Gosh how devastating for you
 • Rating: Unrated

Paul: Look, I just want to move this place fast. I'll do whatever we have to do.
Edie: Well, that's good to know. You do realize that you're going to have to disclose the fact that your wife killed herself in the house.
Paul: I am?
Edie: Oh, yeah. Legal crap. You know, people get really freaked out by suicides. You can't blame them. Hell, I get the willies just standing here.
Paul: Is there any way to get around it?
Edie: Off the record? You could say that she shot herself in the living room, and then crawled out back to die
 • Rating: Unrated

Edie: I hate Susan Mayer. Everytime I see those big doe eyes of hers, I swear to God I just want to go out and shoot a deer
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Edie [about her housing burning down]: Oh God, look at all these things, all these beautiful things that my ex-husbands worked so hard for, burnt to a crisp
 • Rating: Unrated

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