Elaine: Who'd you punch?
Kramer: Mickey Mantle.

(about George) He thinks that if a woman sees a guy put on a better show, she'll walk out on his show and go see the other show.

Jerry: Hey, I've been back four days, I want my mail.
Elaine: It's mostly bills, magazines, and junk mail anyway.
Jerry: Elaine, that's what mail is. Without bills, magazines, and junk mail, there is no mail.

The turbo quadramatic transmission offers you the power and prestige to propel you well into the twenty-first century.

George, you're sappin' my strength.

No, I don't want to go to a mini-plex multi-theater! It's not a theater, it's like a room where they bring in POW's to show them propaganda films.

Men can sit through the most pointless, boring movie if there's even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off.

(describing Kramer) Have you seen a tall, lanky dufus with a bird face and hair like the bride of Frankenstein?

Let me tell you, I didn't intentionally expose myself, but, now, I wish I had. For it is not me, but you who have been exposed, for I have seen the nipple on your soul!

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