Elaine Benes Quotes
Jerry: I got my bags. I'm ready to go.
Elaine: Yeah, you got your bags!
(scene goes to Honolulu International Airport where we see Elaine's luggage going around the baggage terminal)
You're eating my food!!
(To herself, loudly to the guy next to her) Wake up, you human slug! Wake up! Wake up!!
Elaine: Well, what about George? He's supposed to pick us up at Kennedy.
Jerry: We'll call him.
Elaine: There's no time.
Jerry: No time? (to ticket lady) Is there time?
Ticket Lady: There's no time.
Jerry: There's no time.
Attendant: Well, the only meal left is a kosher meal.
Elaine: Kosher meal? I don't want a kosher meal. I don't even know what a kosher meal is.
Do you realize the people back here are getting cookies!?
(After Jerry selfishly takes the lone first-class seat available he confronts Elaine about the issue)
Jerry: Elaine, have you ever flown first-class?
Jerry: All right then. See, you don't know what you're missing. I've flown first-class. I can't go back to coach. I can't, I won't.
Elaine: We flew here coach.
Jerry: Yeah, that's true.
Elaine: Oh, alright. If the plane crashes, everyone in first class is going to die anyway.
Jerry: Yeah, I'm sure you'll live.
Jerry: It smells like a cheap hooker. Or is that you?
Elaine: Give me ten bucks and find out.
Oh, look at this. He's sleeping and I have to go to the bathroom. Maybe he'll wake up soon. What if my kidneys burst? Is it worth it not to wake this man up to damage a major organ?
Attendant: You're not supposed to get up during the food service.
Elaine: Well, nobody told me that!
(to a woman next to her) Yeah, make a little more noise with your gum; that's helpful.
Jerry: (looks out the window, shocked) Oh my God in heaven!
(all three crowd around the window)
Elaine: (gasps) Is that?
Elaine: He's waving
(all three wave back)