John F. Kennedy Jun-ya!

Joyce: I can get you a spot right behind him. He has got a great butt.
Elaine: Yeah. Butt. Butt. Great butt. John-John's butt.

Elaine: What're you looking at?
Jerry: There's a naked woman across the street.
Elaine: (smiling, chuckling) This is gonna be the easiest money I've ever made in my life.

Jerry: But the question is, are you still master of your domain?
Elaine: I'm queen of the castle.

Elaine: What happened?
Jerry: I told her about the contest.
Elaine: Ohh, boy, she's a whack-o.

Jerry: Alright, Costanza. It's just you and me.
George: And then, (smacks the money) there were two.
Elaine: Elaine Benes Kennedy Junior

Jerry: What happened?
Elaine: It was, uh, John John.
Jerry and George: Ohhhhh. John John.

Jerry: We have to do it. It's part of our lifestyle. It's like, uh, shaving.
Elaine: Oh, that is such bologna. I shave my legs.
Kramer: Not everyday.

Jerry: (looks out the window, shocked) Oh my God in heaven!
(all three crowd around the window)
Elaine: (gasps) Is that?
George: Kramer?!
Elaine: He's waving
(all three wave back)

George: I didn't know whether to try and keep her from falling, or zip up.
Jerry: What did you do?
George: I zipped up!
Elaine: So, she fell?
George: Yeah. Well, I couldn't run over there the way I was!

(angrily) He left with Marla, the virgin?!

This whole sex thing is totally overrated. Now, the one thing you gotta be ready for is how the man changes into a completely different person five seconds after it's over. I mean, something happens to their personality. It's really quite astounding. It's like they committed a crime and they want to flee the scene before the police get there.

Seinfeld Quotes

Cynthia: What does he look like?Elaine: Um, well, he's got a lot of character in his face. Um, he's short. Um, he's stocky.Cynthia: Fat. Is that what you're saying, that he's fat?Elaine: Powerful. He is so powerful, he can lift a hundred pounds right up over his head. And um, what else. What else. Oh, right. Um, well, he's kind of, just kind of losing his hair.Cynthia: He's bald?Elaine: No! No, no, no, he's not bald. He's balding.Cynthia: So he will be bald.Elaine: Yup.

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I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate. I've got it all!