Cougar Town

Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar town
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Ellie: It is a gorgeous night and I have no kid waiting at home. Shiraz me. Laurie, you are rockin' those jeans. Hi girlfriend!
Laurie: Why's it being nice?
Andy: Is this the golden seven minutes?

If there is a ridiculous Cuban hiding over there, you can tell him that it's fine if he wants to go dancing with Trampface tonight.

Having a baby in your forties is exhausting, and people will judge you if you keep a sippy cup full of wine in the stroller so you can pound grape.

Jules: Ellie is not a morning person. Or a night person. There's really only about seven minutes a day you are fun to be around.
Ellie: The best part is you never know when they're coming.

Jules: I'm not gonna stand here and be judged by someone who doesn't even have a nineteen year old, and most of all, who thinks there's a ghost in her pickup truck.
Ellie: Then...who keeps moving my sunglasses Jules? Who?

Ellie: I'm gonna say it. The clingy mom act? It's not cute anymore. In fact, it's ugly on you. Just like scarves.
Jules: I look bad in scarves?
Ellie: They give you bird face.

Jules: I put cough syrup in his lemonade and he fell asleep in a hole.
Ellie: You know, out of context, that sounds like a horrible abduction story.

Ellie: Imaginary hat!
Jules: Imaginary hook hands! I don't know what we're doing.

Jules: Name one thing I've done to Travis that is "meddlesome."
Bobby: Watched him sleep.
Ellie: You scared his girlfriend away.
Laurie: You want to live in his blood.

Jellybean! You just simultaneously uttered the dumbest and the smartest things you've ever said!

Kirstin: Trav stop! You're embarrassing me.
Ellie: He can't stop. He was cooked in her baby oven.

All Valentine's day means to me is that it's seven weeks after Christmas.

Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 207 in total

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!