Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar-town

Andy: He's your son.
Ellie: He needs to learn.

Park Ranger: You married to one of those guys?
Ellie: No, they're lovers.

How could you not believe me about my mom? You're my best friend, all I ask is that you have blind faith in me, and that you hit me with a shovel if I ever got a toe ring.

I get Big Carl? What's going on? Are you dying?

No wine for you!

Ellie: You're not crazy about the ditzy, trashy, fake blonde, fake tan, fake boobs, club skank you one-night standed to make that baby.
Jules: She says it better.

Get used to it. These idiots are a six-pack away from running away together.

Laurie: I almost barfed. Luckily I can control my gag reflex. [Looks at Ellie] Nothing?
Ellie: I don't swing at softballs.

Laurie: What is this? It looks like a smoke detector from a disco.
Ellie: That is a Simon.

Displaying quotes 55 - 63 of 207 in total