Emily Gilmore Quotes
Lorelai: (about Rory getting into Harvard) Mom, everything's gonna be fine. Rory's special.
Emily: Well, I know that and you know that, but those idiots at Harvard might not necessarily know that!
Emily: So, she's meeting you here?
Lorelai: Yeah, she had a thing after school, a rumble or something. She said she'd be over after.
Emily: A rumble?
Lorelai: Yeah, a bunch of kids meet in an alley, they pirouette, they pull knives, it's a whole to-do.
(in Lorelai's flashback as she's being wheeled to the delivery room)
Emily: You're having a baby. Do you know that Lorelai?
Young Lorelai: Well that explains the stomach ache.
Emily: I've called several times the past few weeks and you've skillfully avoided every call.
Lorelai: No, that's not true. I've left messages on your machine.
Emily: Yes, messages. And then if I happened to pick up, you'd hang up. Or if the maid picked up, you'd ask for me, then claim you were driving through a tunnel so you might get cut off, and then you'd make garbling noises and hang up.
(Lorelai and Emily are talking about the broken button on Emily's skirt)
Emily: I don't believe it. This is a brand new skirt.
Lorelai: Mom, let me see.
Emily: I have this dinner to go tonight. What am I going to do?
Lorelai: Drink a lot. It's easier to explain not wearing a skirt if you're falling down drunk.
Lorelai: Huh. You know what I just realized? Oy is the funniest word in the entire world.
Rory: Huh.
Lorelai: I mean, think about it. You never hear the word oy and not smile. Impossible. Funny, funny word.
Emily: Oh, dear God.
Lorelai: Poodle is another funny word.
Emily: Please drink your drink, Lorelai.
Lorelai: In fact, if you put oy and poodle together in the same sentence, you'd have a great new catch phrase, you know? Like, oy with the poodles already. So from now on, when the perfect circumstances arise, we will use our favorite new catch phrase.
Rory: Oy with the poodles already.
Lorelai: I'm telling you, it's knocking 'whatcha talking 'bout, Willis?' right out of first place.
Emily: Lorelai, for God's sake, be quiet.
Emily: That's a camera?
Lorelai: That's a camera.
Richard: It looks like a toy.
(Lorelai answers the phone at Richard's office)
Lorelai: Gilmore Group, may I help you?
Emily: Yes, Richard Gilmore, please.
Lorelai: (in high-pitched voice) Oh, um, uh, certainly, may I ask who's calling?
Emily: Emily Gilmore.
Lorelai: And does he know what this is about?
Emily: Well, I hope so, I'm his wife.
Lorelai: (giggles) Oh, but Richard didn't say anything about being married.
Emily: What!
Lorelai: (back in normal voice) Mom, relax, it's me.
Emily: Lorelai?
Lorelai: Yes.
Emily: Well, you're crude and unprofessional.
Lorelai: Well, I'd like that on my tombstone, please.
Emily: Richard, are you serious about this?
Richard: As a heart attack.
Emily: Lorelai, don't eat dinner yet.
Lorelai: (pointing to food) This isn't dinner, it's my private stash.
Emily: Next thing I know you'll be saying I need a psychiatrist!
Lorelai: Too many comebacks. I cannot pick.
Emily: What do you think of the Romanovs?
Luke: They probably had it coming.
Emily: A match made in heaven.
