South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park
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Jesus Asterisk Christ, Stan! People are feeling really cheated by this!

Butters: I asked preacher, what about the New Testament? And he says well you still should ought to read it, but you gonna need to put an asterisk next to Jesus' name when ever it comes up!
Cartman: So weak, dude. Dark times, brah. Dark times.

You know I spent five bucks on that stupid thing?

CARTMAN SMASH!

It's Stan's stupid Captain America costume, that's what throwing everybody off! How's people supposed to get that I'm the Hulk when Captain America is on freaking FaceTime?

Person: Oh, wow! Look honey, it's Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and Bruce Vilanch!
Cartman: I'm not Bruce Vilanch!
Person: Oh, what are you supposed to be? Oh right, you're supposed to be that uh, uh..
Cartman: The Incredible...
Person: Oh, The Incredible Chaz Bono!

I'm telling you, Butters beat the crap out of Scott and then locked himself in the bathroom!

Security Guy: Ahh! Who are you?
Cartman: [in Bane voice] It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan. You should have respected my authoritah.

Kyle: The Jewish population isn't dying out, fatass, it's growing!
Cartman: What?
Marcus: This is Marcus with InSecurity, is everything alright?
Cartman: Yeah, I just heard some troubling news and it set off my InSecurity.

I may be fat, but I'm not Honey Boo Boo!

This is exactly what Adele is talking about! Our culture celebrates aneorexia, and makes us ashamed that we don't have slim stomachs, and perky little tits like Kyle!

Let's do this. Stan, hook up my bra.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 506 in total

South Park Quotes

James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does for James Cameron. James Cameron does what James Cameron does because James Cameron is James Cameron!

James Cameron

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman
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