South Park

Eric Cartman Quotes (Page 2)

Cartman: I'm telling you, Butters beat the crap out of Scott and then locked himself in the bathroom!
 • Rating: Unrated

Security Guy: Ahh! Who are you?
Cartman: [in Bane voice] It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan. You should have respected my authoritah.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kyle: The Jewish population isn't dying out, fatass, it's growing!
Cartman: What?
Marcus: This is Marcus with InSecurity, is everything alright?
Cartman: Yeah, I just heard some troubling news and it set off my InSecurity.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: I may be fat, but I'm not Honey Boo Boo!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: This is exactly what Adele is talking about! Our culture celebrates aneorexia, and makes us ashamed that we don't have slim stomachs, and perky little tits like Kyle!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: Let's do this. Stan, hook up my bra.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Don't let society dictate who you can and can't be with. Kyle, I love you man! You can run all you want, try and pretend you like girls, but dammit, when we kiss there's magic! Don't let it go, Kyle!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: I'm a racist, huh? I'm a racist? It's how nature works, Kyle. Look, what about Luke Covina and Maria Sanchez? Is it a coincidence they ended up together?
Stan: Actually, I heard they're together because they got locked in the school gym overnight a few nights ago.
Cartman: Oh, did they? I hadn't heard about that.
Cupid Cartman: Teehee, that was us, remember, Eric?
Cartman: Shh, quiet Cupid me!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kyle: What the hell are you doing telling people we're a gay couple?
Cartman: Oh, heard that through the grapevine, did you?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: Guys! Guys! Get outside! It's the Batmobile! Batmobile you guys!
Jimmy: I don't see a Batmobile.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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