(reading box) 'Life-sized Antonio Banderas Blow Up Love Doll;' comes with realistic gen-e-tilia.

Oh sweet. The "Life-Sized Blow-up Antonio Banderas Love Doll." What a cool Christmas present.

(to Nibblet) Ahh! You goddamn chicken from outer space! (He chases Nibblet as Nibblet flies away.)

Cartman: Maybe we should shove a stick up her ass and use her as a puppet. Ooooooooh! Scaaarry Grraaanddmma!
Kyle: Alright Cartman, that does it! That's my Grandma, you show her some Goddamn respect!

( as "Artemus" Clyde Frog) If we save her, I am going to take off her pants and play Slip'N'Slide!

Liane: The babysitter's here, come on downstairs.
Cartman: But, Mo-om, I'm playing Wild, Wild We-est!
Liane: I have to leave soon, Eric.
Cartman: But Ma-a-am! Me and Artemus Clyde Frog still have to do our love scene with Selma Hyea-a-ak!

Shelly: Nobody my age will go out with me because I'm too ugly!
Cartman: You're not ugly.
Shelly: You don't think so?
Cartman: Well, you're pretty ugly, but you don't have to be dating 22 year olds.

(Doing his rendition of Wild Wild West) Well, I'm a badass cowboy living in a cowboy's age, whicky-whicky scratch yo-yo bang-bang. Me and Artemus Clyde Frog go save Salma Hayek from the big metal spider. Whicky-whicky-wick fresh, cowboy from the westside.

Cartman: Look out, Artemus Clyde Frog! It's a giant metal spider!
(Tosses Clyde aside, aims at a plush spider hanging on the edge of his toy box and fires toy gun)
Cartman: Bang! Bangbang!
(Strafes and performs a cartwheel)
Cartman: Yoyoyo, jiggity jiggy with it! Bang bang bang!
(He Tosses a baseball at the spider and knocks it out of the box)
Cartman: We saved the day! The Wild Wild West, The Wild Wild Wild West. Uhyo wicky wicky scratch, Uh wicky wicky scratch

Cartman: (approaches Shelley) Well, go put that pizza in the oven, b*tch! I'm hungry! (she punches him into the wall) Ow!
Shelley: Alright, turd, listen up! Now that your mom is gone, I'm in charge. I don't know how you treat your other babysitters, but when I'm babysitting, you're nothing but a little turd. You're a stinky dried-up stupid turd! Got it?!
Cartman: You can't hit me! Didn't you see those nanny videos on TV? (she punches him, sending him into the wall again)
Shelley: My boyfriend is coming over, so you go to the kitchen, and you make us that pizza before I snap you in half like the little turd-stick you are!

Skeeter: We don't take kindly to your types around here.
Cartman: Did you guys see a big panda bear in here or not?
Skeeter: We don't take kindly to panda bears!
Stan: Well, we don't take kindly to you!
Man at bar: We don't take kindly to folks that don't take kindly around here.

Mr Garrison: Now does anyone know what sexual harassment means? (Cartman raises his hand) Yes Eric?
Cartman: When you're trying to have intercourse with a lady friend, and some other guy comes up and tickles your balls from behind.

South Park Quotes

James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does for James Cameron. James Cameron does what James Cameron does because James Cameron is James Cameron!

James Cameron

Romper Stomper: There's two kinds of kids, kids who like Animaniacs and kids who don't like Animaniacs, so which one are you?
Cartman: Well, personally, I ...don't like Animaniacs?
Romper Stomper: Neither do we!