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Johnny Galecki: Eric, would you like to take this around the corner?
Eric: I'll bang your smug face out right here.
Galecki: Respected actors don't get into public brawls.
- Permalink: Eric, would you like to take this around the corner? I'll bang...
Eric: Scott, you know, this is why I knew not to partner up with you, because you are a self-centered jerk off.
Scott: And this is why Eric, and I mean this in the nicest possible way, you are a little b*tch.
- Permalink: Scott, you know, this is why I knew not to partner up with you, ...
Johnny Drama: Bro, didn't I used to bang her sister?
Vince: Yeah, actually she said she asked about you.
Drama: Of course.
Turtle: She probably wants to find out if you were the one who gave her the herps.
Drama: Well at least I get laid often enough to be a suspect.
Eric: Interesting logic.
- Permalink: Bro, didn't I used to bang her sister? Yeah, actually she said...
Johnny Galecki: She tried to f*ck me last year at the Golden Globes. Followed me right into the men's room.
Johnny Galecki: Or maybe I followed her into the ladies room. I was a little busted up. Either way...
- Permalink: She tried to f*ck me last year at the Golden Globes. Followed me...
Vince: Hey, there's my motherf*cker. Get it?
Eric: Oh I get it, hilarious.
Johnny Drama: I don't get it.
Turtle: Mother f*cker. E f*cked the mother.
Drama: Oh you mean step mother f*cker. I get it! That's funny bro.
- Permalink: Hey, there's my motherf*cker. Get it? Oh I get it, hilarious. ...
Eric: I mean, who's the last person you signed Scott? The third ballerina from the left in 'Black Swan?'
Scott: Yeah. She got signed and I got sucked.
Eric: You're not serious.
- Permalink: I mean, who's the last person you signed Scott? The third baller...
Eric: You're going to drink vinegar?
Johnny Drama: Yup, we're all going to do it. For solidarity.
Turtle: Whatever we gotta do, Vin.
Scott: Well I'm new to the team so maybe I'll just sip it.
Johnny Drama: Pussy.
- Permalink: You're going to drink vinegar? Yup, we're all going to do it. ...
Johnny Drama: The guy was a mess.
Scott: Yeah, even more so now. What do brains look like?
Scott: Come on, I'm curious.
Turtle: They're gross. They look like mashed up spaghetti and meatballs.
Johnny Drama: They used kosher egg noodles and cottage cheese when I got shot in the head on New York Undercover.
- Permalink: The guy was a mess. Yeah, even more so now. What do brains lo...
Eric: I just had sex with Sloan two hours ago. I'm not going to call another girl."
Johnny Drama: Why not? Double headers are the best.
Turtle: Yeah, just shower.
Drama: No f*ck that, I wouldn't even brush my teeth. Just splash a little water on it and you're good to go.
- Permalink: I just had sex with Sloan two hours ago. I'm not going to call a...
Eric: Your grammar's horrible.
Vince: "Who cares?
Eric: We were in the same classes since we were six, it's just shocking to me you can't punctuate.
Vince: Eh, it was all stream of consciousness.
Turtle: You can't really spell either, Vin. F-a-i-t-h-f-e-l.
Eric: No it isn't.
Johnny Drama: It's 'o-l.'
Eric: No, it isn't.
Drama: So says you.
Eric: Are you guys all illiterate? Mrs. Carbone would shoot herself if she heard this.
- Permalink: Your grammar's horrible. Who cares? We were in the same clas...
Johnny Drama: Why are you dressed like it's '04?
Turtle: All my clothes burned up in the fire. Why are you dressed for a bisexual paintball tournament is a better question?"
Drama: Bisexual? This shirt is mad hetero. Look at these pythons. You can clearly see I'm hiding an 8-pack under here.
Eric: You haven't had an 8-pack to hide since the early '70s, Drama.
- Permalink: Why are you dressed like it's '04? All my clothes burned up in...
E: You can't bang my assistant.
Drama: What? You don't think I can get her?
- Permalink: You can't bang my assistant. What? You don't think I can get ...