Season 2, Episode 10: "Blue Balls Lagoon"
Ari: It's a jerk-off meeting! My six year-old could get that meeting!Eric: Yeah, your six year old probably could have painted this s**t too!
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Ari: What did you and Terrence talk about anyways?
Eric: Oh, he offered me your job. I turned him down because your office is too small
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Season 2, Episode 9: "The Bat Mizvah"
Eric: What are you going to wear to a Bat Mitzvah, a Knicks jersey?Turtle: It's formal. I was thinking "home whites"
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Eric: He disappeared with Sloan.
Drama: Probably at the tennis courts. I hear that's where you f**k at the Beverly Hilton
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Turtle [to Eric]: Well, why don't you wear that suit you wore for your high school graduation? It's still hanging in your closet.
Vince: I thought that was his communion suit.
Drama: Yeah, well, E didn't grow much from communion to high school graduation so it's probably the same suit.
Eric: F**k you guys. I'm going to Men's Warehouse.
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Vince [to Ari's daughter]: Look at you. You look beautiful!
Ari's Daughter: Thanks, so do you!
Ari: You look great too, E. What'd you do, raid the boys department at Macy's?
Eric: You look pretty good too. You auditioning for "Guys and Dolls?"
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Season 2, Episode 8: "I Love You Too"
[referring to U2 concert]Drama: Floor level or bust. That's my moto.
Eric: I thought it was "will act for food."
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Turtle: You were driving when Vince was seven? How f**kin' old are you, Drama?
Drama: 31. Get off my ass.
Eric: 31, Drama? Yeah, in dog years maybe
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Eric: We could've gone, Drama. You just refused to scalp.
Turtle: We could've had great seats for 200 a pop.
Drama: Scalping raises ticket prices so the average fan can't afford them. U2 stands up for the common man and so do I.
Eric: You are the common man, Drama.
Turtle: More like an uncommon loser
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Drama: Vanessa Angel. She did three episodes of "Viking Quest" and they just gave her this s**tbag spin off. She's been riding the "Viking Quest" wave for like a decade.
Turtle: So do you.
Eric: Didn't "Angel Quest" run five times longer than "Viking Quest"?
Drama: Yeah, but it's only 'cause she showed her tits in "Playboy"
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Total Quotes: 202
