Season 5, Episode 6: "ReDOMption"
Eric: Ah, I'm feeling real confident now Ari...Ari: Your physical appearance has left you no reason to ever feel confident.
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Turtle: You guys think I could sell myself to old broads for cash?
Eric: Yeah, if they had vision problems
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Eric: In my next life I wish I could come back as you!
Ari: Wish I could return the complement, E, but I'd rather come back as one of Michael Vick's dogs
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Season 5, Episode 5: "Tree Trippers"
Ari: We could be at Villa tonight.Eric: What are you gonna do at Villa?
Ari: The only thing I can do E, find a nice image to whack off to.
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Season 5, Episode 4: "Fire Sale"
Eric: Oh boom, now it's Ed Norton's home run you jerk off.Ari: Well, did they sell the script, you c**t face?
Eric: Not yet, d**k head.
Ari: Well than it's still free you overpaid undersized bitch
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Season 5, Episode 3: "The All Out Fall Out"
Eric: Vince needs a job, Ari.Ari: I understand that Eric, but you need to understand that you are the reason he doesn't have one. Vince needs a studio movie, not an Indie! So don't waste my f**king time with the possibility that maybe Ed Norton might read or may not read some f**king script that may or may not be good because some half ass agent who couldn't carry my sperm sample likes it, ok!?
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Ari [picking up the phone]: WHAT?
Eric: Oh, that's a nice greeting the Miller Gold Agency's got going on there, Ari.
Ari: Yeah, well listen, if I knew it was you it would have been a lot worse, What!?
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Season 5, Episode 2: "Unlike a Virgin"
Eric: You're calling to apologize?Ari: I'm calling to tell you that I blame you for every bad thing that's ever happened to Vince, and every bad thing that ever could happen to him for the rest of his life. You're the unf**king lucky charm, you hear me? You should never utter the words "I found a good script", cause you have no idea what a good f**king script looks like.
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Eric: Come on Ari, I'm calling as a friend, all right? I need your help. It's a really good script, can you help me?
Ari: Yes, I can E. Lloyd! Get the number for UCLA Extension so Eric can take a course of finally learning how the movie business works.
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Eric: I wanna sell their script, I need an agent to do that.
Ari: Try the Yellow Pages.
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Total Quotes: 202
