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Masters: And why are they doing this?
Foreman: The place they bought them only had one pig.

Foreman: If I own it, I don't want you doing it on it.
Taub: You might want to get rid of your kitchen table.

I found a guy who makes you look like a good roommate.

Foreman (to Taub)

Foreman: I don't know how you did it man. Was it the cute, harmless vibe, the self-deprecating humor, or just straight up vibes?
Taub: If you're interested, I do seminars.

Taub: He's doggy padding in the sea of misery. I remember what that was like.
Foreman: Yeah? How far back did you go for that memory? Last night?

Dr. Foreman: I assume you're planning on screwing it up so you want to maximize witnesses.
House: Why does everyone go to that?
Dr. Foreman: Experience.
House: Shut up.

Dr. Foreman: You're nothing but excuses and distractions.
Taub: Well, it's a nice match with your condescension and superiority.

Taub: I'm totally fine. I aced my first pathology boards.
Dr. Foreman: Medicine's come a long way in the last hundred years.

She's brilliant, but new to the real world.

Foreman [about Masters]

Dr. Chase: Sorry I took off on you.
Dr. Foreman: Twice?
Dr. Chase: First one was my bad. Second one, I had no choice. It was a threesome.
Taub: They're overrated.
Foreman and Chase: (together) He's bluffing.

House: Why aren't you guys in my office?
Dr. Foreman: Why are you in the building? It's eight in the morning.
House: Where's Chase?
Taub: He's not here because it's eight in the morning.

House: Black guy campaigning for the opposition? Does Obama know about this?
Dr. Foreman: I tried calling him on the brother hotline. He didn't pick up.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 56 in total

House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House

House: Lift up your arms. You have a parasite.
Jill: Like a tapeworm or something?
House: Lie back and lift up your sweater. You can put your arms down.
Jill: Can you do anything about it?
House: Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of states.
Jill: Illegal?
House: Don't worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites...
Jill: Playdates...
House: (showing her sonogram) It has your eyes.