Dr. Foreman: Notice anything odd about the shape of the fluid collection?
House: Oh, God, it's... the Virgin Mary.

I'd stand outside your apartment all night and hold a boom box, except you told me you hate 80's music.

Foreman: You two are both competent and I know we can work together.
Chase: You really know how to woo.

Dr. Foreman: I brought you a doughnut. The florist was closed.
Thirteen: I'll get a vase and put it in water.

Taub: How did so many people get my personal email?
Foreman: The Internet is a magical place.

Foreman: I feel like Tom Brady's back-up.
Thirteen: Tom Brady's back-up now makes $10 million.

Cameron: You know how House feels about people touching his ball.
Foreman: No, Chase refuses to tell me.

House was an egotistical pill-popping lawsuit magnet... and a genius.

House: I quit.
Foreman: You can't quit.
House: I think you're confusing me with Jake Gyllenhaal.

Dr. Foreman: You were right about the heart. Should have listened to you.
House: The correct phrasing would be, "I should always listen to you."

House: Huh. I figured by now you'd be at the board in your monocle and jodhpurs.
Dr. Foreman: Yeah, you did something stupid. Quick, better mock someone.

Dr. Foreman: (checking out strippers) You know what a "broken cowboy is? It was on House's list of requirements.
Thirteen: I have three theories.

House Quotes

Do you know what bisexual means? It doesn't mean you have sex with two people at once.

Thirteen

You know another really good business? Teeny tiny baby coffins. You can get them in frog green or fire engine red. Really. The antibodies in yummy mummy only protect the kid for six months, which is why these companies think they can gouge you. They think that you'll spend whatever they ask to keep your kid alive. Want to change things? Prove them wrong. A few hundred parents like you decide they'd rather let their kid die than cough up forty bucks for a vaccination, believe me, prices will drop really fast.

House