Dr. Foreman: Notice anything odd about the shape of the fluid collection?
House: Oh, God, it's... the Virgin Mary.

I'd stand outside your apartment all night and hold a boom box, except you told me you hate 80's music.

Foreman: You two are both competent and I know we can work together.
Chase: You really know how to woo.

Dr. Foreman: I brought you a doughnut. The florist was closed.
Thirteen: I'll get a vase and put it in water.

Taub: How did so many people get my personal email?
Foreman: The Internet is a magical place.

Foreman: I feel like Tom Brady's back-up.
Thirteen: Tom Brady's back-up now makes $10 million.

Cameron: You know how House feels about people touching his ball.
Foreman: No, Chase refuses to tell me.

House was an egotistical pill-popping lawsuit magnet... and a genius.

House: I quit.
Foreman: You can't quit.
House: I think you're confusing me with Jake Gyllenhaal.

Dr. Foreman: You were right about the heart. Should have listened to you.
House: The correct phrasing would be, "I should always listen to you."

House: Huh. I figured by now you'd be at the board in your monocle and jodhpurs.
Dr. Foreman: Yeah, you did something stupid. Quick, better mock someone.

Dr. Foreman: (checking out strippers) You know what a "broken cowboy is? It was on House's list of requirements.
Thirteen: I have three theories.

House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.


You save earwax.

Taub (to the patient)