Desperate Housewives

Gabrielle Solis Quotes (Page 12)

Gabrielle: Most models don't eat pizza...well, at least not without having a finger for dessert.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Gabrielle is showing the young girls how to do the walk for the pageant)
Gabrielle: All right, girls, first things first if you can't walk you can't win, (to Vern): Hit it Vern.
(Vern plays the music, Gabrielle starts a very sexy walk)
Gabrielle(to the girls): Remember, eyes forward shoulders back hips square, look left(turns head left) look right(turns head right) (to the front) whip and walk.
(turns around and walks back, the girls look at her with their jaws dropped)
Gabrielle: Yes, I'm unbelievable close your mouths. (The girls close their mouths)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Vern: You have been in rare bitch form. It's been months now, so don't blame it on your cycle.
Gabrielle: Don't call me a bitch, and stop tracking my cycle. I told you that freaks me out.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gabrielle: (looking in a mirror) I hate this dress. I look like something Ike Turner would hit.
 • Rating: Unrated

(A girl scout is selling magazines to Gabrielle.)
Scout: For the lady of the house we offer Redbook, Glamour, Vo-goo...
Gabrielle: I think you mean Vogue sweety.
Scout: You're sure?
Gabrielle: I should know, I was on the cover.
Scout: No way!
Gabrielle: Er... Way!
 • Rating: Unrated

Marcella: You, come with me.
Gabrielle: Marcella, look, I don't know what they told you, but all I'm asking for is a simple costume change.
Marcella: First of all, you don't get to pull that diva crap. Tanya gets away with it because she's a star. You are nothing.
Gabrielle: Now, just a minute! Where do you get off talking to me like that? You know, I shot thirty-six covers by the time I was twenty!
Marcella: Well, you're thirty now. And when you make that face, you look thirty-five.
Gabrielle: Let me ask you something. Do you know how many photographers would die to work with me again?
Marcella: Yeah. Zero. I had to call in major favors just to get you this job.
Gabrielle: I don't believe that.
Marcella: Well, you know what I don't believe? You gave up a brilliant career to play house in the suburbs, and the minute it falls apart, you come back here expecting a homecoming parade. Well, guess what, sweetie? We've moved on. Now get your polyester self over there and act like the pro you used to be.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Lynette, Susan and Gabrielle are talking in front of Susan's house, then the new resident of the Youngs' old house gets out)
Susan: Hey is that the new neighbor?
Gabrielle: He's cute.
Lynette: Edie said he's a bachelor.
Gabrielle: Keep talking.
Lynette: Who lives with his invalid sister.
Gabrielle: You can stop now.
(The women keep looking at him)
Susan: Should we go and introduce ourselves?
Gabrielle: Yeah, let's give him the scoop on the neighborhood.
They start walking towards him.
Lynette: Do you think he knows Mary Alice shot herself in his living room?
Susan stretches out her hand and stops them.
Susan: Then again, he probably needs some time to unpack.
The women nod and turn around.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Carlos and Gabrielle are in front of a judge getting divorced when Carlos' lawyer brings up the fact that Gabrielle only seduced him to get in on the money and Carlos played the tape.)
Gabrielle: (Upset) You recorded our love making?!
Carlos: It's all right here, Your Honor. When she climaxes, she actually starts screaming out dollar amounts.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Talking about Carlos after she found out she only gets the house from the divorce and no money.)
Gabrielle: Come on, just give me one clean shot at him! I'm willing to do the time!
 • Rating: Unrated

(door bell rings at Gabrielle's house)
Gabrielle: Yeah?
Mrs. McCluskey: Quick, turn on the TV.
Gabrielle: (all dirty and holding out a bat) It's kinda on the fritz.
Mrs. McCluskey: Well, turn on your radio!
Gabrielle: If only, you'd come ten minutes earlier.
Mrs. McCluskey: Some woman is shooting at field's market. She's got hostages!
Gabrielle: Oh, my God!
Mrs. McCluskey: Yeah, we're all watching it over at Bree's house and.... (peaks inside Gabrielle's house and see everything is destroyed)
Mrs. McCluskey: Uh, is everything okay here?
Gabrielle: Yeah, everything is fine. We're just having a little squabble.
(Carlos is coming with a chainsaw.)
Gabrielle: Would you just give us a minute? Carlos, where do you think you're going with that?
 • Rating: Unrated

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