George Sr.: I never see you anymore, Michael.
Michael: You're in prison. And I was here yesterday.
George Sr. : Oh, yeah, that's... That's... I'm sorry. I couldn't break away from the poker game. Capital-G was down to his boxers.
Michael: Strip poker?
George Sr.: Yeah, and it's tough. We can really only play about... Two hands.

(Regarding Buster) Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. But he was her 'miracle baby'. And I-I was just too burnt out on raising you guys to care. So... He turned out a little soft, you know...

(on the phone) Then why don't you marry an ice cream sandwich!

Lucille

(Whispering)
George Sr.: They cannot arrest a husband and wife for the same crime.
Michael: Yeah? I don't think that that's true, dad.
George Sr.: Really? I've got the worst (bleep) attorneys!

Narrator: And Michael finds it difficult to get his father out of jail.
Michael: You love it here?
George Sr.: Oh, I'm having the time of my life. Hey, T-Bone.

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