George, Sr.: Why?! If someone had left a note, this innocent man would still have his arm! Why?!
J. Walter Weatherman: And that's why you always leave a note.

George, Sr.: What time is it? Oh, almost sundown. I have to prepare for the Sabbath.
Michael: It's Tuesday.
George, Sr.: Shh.

Lucille: Why is there a piece of shoe on your head?
George, Sr.: This is a ... Well, it's a reminder that the divine presence is always above me.

Lucille: Buster's been humping the widow Austero.
Buster: Mom ...
George, Sr.: Is that true?
Buster: No. We're taking it slow.
Lucille: He stays there sometimes until 7:00, 8:00 at night. Peanut brittle on his breath. Is she the one who's going to take him to the dentist?
Buster: She already has.

George Sr.: I'm paying thousands of dollars in Krugerrands.
Lindsay: What?
George Sr.: Gold Krugerrands. Your mother snuck them in here, stuffed them in energy bar wrappers to keep me from getting strangled in the shower or worse.
Lindsay: Stabbed?
George Sr.: In a way.

Lindsay: I mean, it's always been "Michael's got the brains, Gob's got the charm, Buster's got the ..."
George Sr.: High-fastening pants.
Lindsay: You said that?
George Sr.: No, I'm saying that now.

Michael: Dad, you're not going to outrun me in that dress!
George, Sr.: Come on. Michael, let go!
Michael: Dad!
George, Sr.: For God's sake, I'm not even wearing a jock.

Barry: Are all the guys in here ... you know?
George Sr.: Oh, no, no. No, not all of them.
Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope.
George Sr.: Hope?
Barry: Think.

Monti: You know, I saw you do this when I was a kid. I was so impressed, you know. You were so still and god-like. You know, it was at that moment that I knew I would be a dancer.
George, Sr.: Glad I could make a difference.

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