George, Sr.: Thank you. Thank you for coming down on Christmas Eve.
Barry: Oh, it's like any other day, except that I bill double.

(Cornballer infomercial)
George Sr.: Time to pull out the basket, and we dig into some hot ... Son of a bitch!
Richard Simmons: Oh! Look what you did! You plopped it!
George Sr.: I'll plop you, you mincing little ...

Daddy horny, Michael.

George Sr.: I haven't had sex in a month.
Michael: You know, you've been here two months.
(Pause)
George Sr.: It's hard to gauge time.
Michael: Yeah. I'll bet.

George Sr.: I'm under a lot of pressure here. I'm trying to get my newsletter off the ground. I'm trying to decide which gang to align myself with.
Michael: Is it pledge week already?
George Sr.: I've got it down to two. But honestly, I don't even want to choose. I just feel... I feel like the prettiest girl at the dance.

Gob: Is there a private bathroom nearby?
George, Sr.: You're looking at it. (taps the commode between the bunks)
Gob: No, no, no. I can't use that. I need privacy. Yeah, I've always been that way. I can't go without privacy. I can't pass this key without privacy.
George, Sr.: Well, I could ask the guys to leave, but, uh ... you know, they've been locking the doors lately. I don't know.

George, Sr.: Keep your arm up. That's how you get accuracy.
Gob: I thought you said throwing the ball against the garage door by yourself was how you got accuracy.

Gob: I'm a complete failure.
George, Sr.: Where'd you get that kind of talk?
Gob: From you. You always say that about me.
George, Sr.: Well, maybe you're not entirely to blame. I haven't always been the best kind of father either.
Gob: Dad, you've done a pretty good job of being a father to everybody in here. What have they got that I don't? I mean, you've never even ... thrown a ball around with me.
George, Sr.: Great. Now, you're an athlete.

George Sr.: Time to pull out the basket and wdig into some hot ... Son of a bitch!
Richard Simmons: Oh! Look what you did! You plopped it!
George Sr.: I'll plop you, you mincing little ...

Displaying quotes 73 - 81 of 86 in total