George Costanza Quotes
Unbelievable. I'm never gonna get outta here. Guy goes to pee, he never comes back. It's like a science-fiction story.
George: What's the difference? We'll all be dead eventually?
Kramer: Does that bother you?
George: Yeah, it bothers me. Doesn't it bother you?
Kramer: Not at all.
George: You see, now, that bothers me even more than dying bothers me, because it's people like you who live to be 120 because you're not bothered by it.
I'm trying to live my life!
George: So I said, "Mr. Hayman, It's me george Costanza, JFK, ... " He doesn't move. So I said uh, "Can't stand ya'", "Can't stand ya'" He turns and smiles, the little baked bean teeth. I get up to run away, but something was holding me back. It was Heyman. He had my underwear. There I was on the steps of the 42nd St. library ,a grown man, getting a wedgie.
Elaine: At least it wasn't atomic.
George: It was.
George: There I was on the steps of the 42nd St. library, a grown man, getting a wedgie.
Elaine: At least it wasn't atomic.
George: It was.
He [Mr. Haymen] purposely mispronounced my name. Instead of saying Costanza, he'd say 'Can't stand ya'.
Listen, just because I got the guy fired doesn't mean I turned him into a bum - does it?
I don't understand lunch. I don't know anything about lunch.
Lemon Lift
Prognosis Negative!
Jerry: Talk amongst yourselves, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
George: Uh Jerry, how long will you be in there?
Jerry: I don't know, regular human time?
George: Uh why don't you wait then go in the movies?
Jerry: Why shouldn't I go here?
Elaine: Well, you know, I mean, sometimes it's good to get there and make sure you get your seats and then go to the bathroom.
George: And isn't it more fun using the urinal?
Elaine: Yeah.
Jerry: Oh yeah, urinals are fun. Can I go?!
Pity is very underrated.