George Costanza Quotes
Jerry: This is your plan?
George: No, no. I'm just thinking.
Jerry: I don't think you are.
- Permalink: This is your plan? No, no. I'm just thinking. I don't think ...
Every time I think I'm out, they pull me back in!
- Permalink: Every time I think I'm out, they pull me back in!
She's got a big crush on David Letterman, I mean a big crush. She talks about him all the time. Suppose I go up to David Letterman. He works at NBC, I work at NBC. I explain my situation. He agrees to meet her. They go out. They fall madly in love. And she dumps me for David Letterman!
- Permalink: She's got a big crush on David Letterman, I mean a big crush. Sh...
George: Hey, what about this? I'm in a car accident. The motorist is uninsured, you with me?
George: My car's totaled. It's all his fault and now, he has absolutely no money. There is no way that he can pay me. So the judge decrees that he becomes my butler.
- Permalink: Hey, what about this? I'm in a car accident. The motorist is uni...
(George just found out that Susan was fired)
George: This is great! He fired her! This is incredible, he fired her. I'm out, baby! I'm out!
Jerry: Why did he fire her?
George: Because I kissed her in the meeting. Russell found out, he fired her over the phone. Finally, my stupidity pays off!
- Permalink: This is great! He fired her! This is incredible, he fired her. I...
Elaine: Marla and I went out for coffee and afterwards I was crossing the street and he was biking right towards me. So I got out of the way just in time, but then he ran into a parked car. He hit his head and everything went flying.
George: Something happened to the food?!!
- Permalink: Marla and I went out for coffee and afterwards I was crossing th...
I don't think I could do it. You know, they always remember the first time. I don't want to be remembered. I wanna be forgotten.
- Permalink: I don't think I could do it. You know, they always remember the ...
George: Do you know the last time I wore this thing? Six years ago, when I made that toast at Bobby Leighton's wedding.
Jerry: Oh, that was a bad toast.
George: It wasn't that bad.
Jerry: I never heard anybody curse in a toast.
George: I was trying to loosen 'em up a little bit.
Jerry: There were old people there, all the relatives. You were like a Redd Foxx record. I mean, at the end of the toast nobody even drank. They were just standing there, they were just frozen! That might have been one of the worst all time toasts.
George: Alright, still her father didn't have to throw me out like that, he could have just asked me to leave. The guy had me in a headlock!
- Permalink: Do you know the last time I wore this thing? Six years ago, when...
George: We'll take it.
George: No, are you crazy?
Kramer: Let me handle this.
George: That's $500 that's a great deal.
Kramer: Man, you're blowing it, the guy's a pigeon.
George: This is not a Metallica concert, it's an opera. A little dignity, a little class.
- Permalink: We'll take it. No. No, are you crazy? Let me handle this....
I'm gonna need some water here!
- Permalink: I'm gonna need some water here!
Time is what he's indicating here.
- Permalink: Time is what he's indicating here.
I have tremendous respect for people who work with feet. I mean, to dedicate yourself to the foot You're toiling in virtual anonymity.
- Permalink: I have tremendous respect for people who work with feet. I mean,...
Elaine: (referring to Dr. Reston) He's like a Svenjolly.
Elaine: What did I say?
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
George: Svenjolly. (licking some peanut butter off his finger)
Elaine: I don't see how I could've said Svenjolly.
Jerry: Well, maybe he's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on you.
- Permalink: He's like a Svenjolly. Svengali. What did I say? Svenjolly...
I can't get a massage from a man.George
- Permalink: I can't get a massage from a man.