Glenn Quagmire Quotes
What a surprise, the mugger's never heard of Truman Capote.
Oh my god, he's really hurt bad - you're out of the baseline by the way you're out game's over - but oh my god, Horace is really hurt!
Quagmire: What the hell? Jerome's on your team?
Mort Goldman: That's right! We got to know each other while I was following him around my store!
Joe: Here you go guys, first time in a while I've had wood in my lap.
Quagmire: Are we supposed to laugh at that? Because it's upsetting.
Hang on, you guys! I don't know if I can pull out of this, giggity!
Peter: A private plane? How'd you swing that, Quagmire?
Quagmire: Let's just say I walked in John Travolta with not-Kelly-Preston.
Quagmire: Do like me, say "oui oui!" and tell them you're a friend of Bill Maher's!
Bill Maher: That's how you'll get to watch them pee in Canadian nudie bars!
I'd even go so far as to say that a Canadian strip club is the most magical place in the world.
Joe: You speak French?
Quagmire: Sure, they love me in France!
Quagmire: Whoa, is that Harrison Ford?
Peter: Yeah, it says in the brochures that he assists with all the jumps.
Harrison Ford: Get off my plane!
Peter: I have two ideas. One that I think is awesome and one that I think is stupid. We could either A: rob a Mafia poker game, or B: skydive
Joe: Skydive? I'd be totally up for that!
Quagmire: Yeah, I've always wanted to try skydiving!
Peter: Really? Eh, could be fun I guess.
What's wrong with you, Holder-Downer 5000? That's just for women!