Glenn Quagmire Quotes
Doctor: How do you feel?
Quagmire's Mom: Horny. Really horny. Could you put him back so I can push him out again?
I don't want to go to jail, but I really want to take credit.
Peter: Jesus, we're going to help you lose your virginity!
Quagmire: Oh god! I love sex!
Jesus: Uh hot ladies. Horny ones. Who, uh, sex on you.
Jesus: Yeah, you know, they come back to your house and sit on your butt.
[meditating] I can be Giggity. I can be Goo.
Quagmire: That's my word.
What a surprise, the mugger's never heard of Truman Capote.
Oh my god, he's really hurt bad - you're out of the baseline by the way you're out game's over - but oh my god, Horace is really hurt!
Quagmire: What the hell? Jerome's on your team?
Mort Goldman: That's right! We got to know each other while I was following him around my store!
Joe: Here you go guys, first time in a while I've had wood in my lap.
Quagmire: Are we supposed to laugh at that? Because it's upsetting.
Hang on, you guys! I don't know if I can pull out of this, giggity!
Peter: A private plane? How'd you swing that, Quagmire?
Quagmire: Let's just say I walked in John Travolta with not-Kelly-Preston.