Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Claire: I'm sorry but you know how i am about heights.
Gloria: Is that why you never wear high heels?

Gloria: I don't eat anything unless I know what's in it.
Jay: I've once seen this woman scarf down a pig's nose.

Excuse me, how much is that doggie in the window?

Gloria: This is fun for me. You're my stepdaughter.
Claire: I'm older than you.

What happened to him? He didn't used to be that self-conscious before high school. He used to go around in his poncho, play the band flute. I miss my old Manny.

Gloria: Some people you turn your back for one second and they have another family from the bad side of town.
Jay: You ARE my other family from the bad side of town.

Yes people are allowed their private thoughts and I shouldn't be so angry, but I'm latin so I get to feel whatever i want.

Manny: You have to face it Jay, one day I’m gonna be moving out of this house.
Jay: Can I get that in writing? Cause I just can’t shake this image of a 30 year old you, eating my food and cuddling with my wife.
Gloria: Boys should never stop cuddling their mothers.
Jay: I’m gonna have nightmares!

Jay: I’m waiting for a phone call from my doctor’s office. Please rate your prostate exam. Would you say you were satisfied?
Gloria: I hope you weren’t!

Jay: Hi hunnie.
Gloria: I got in trouble.
Jay: Whatever she did, add it to my tab.

For someone whose favorite words at the movies are "what did he say?" you overhear pretty good.

You know what they say, houseguests start to stink after 3 days like dead bodies.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 143 in total

Modern Family Quotes

What could be more natural than your mother’s tongue in your ear?

Gloria

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke