A lot of people assumed that I married you for your money and that’s only a very, very small part of it. I married you because you’re sexy. You still are. Who knows how long that’s going to last for either of us?

Comfort is not everything. My toes have been numb since my Quinceanera.

Jay: I didn't mean for her to get hurt.
Gloria: Not her, he when he realizes not every second wife looks like this.

Manny: Hey mom, can you see this?
Gloria: What pimple?

I just wish you would have come in sooner before I went to second base with Stella.

Gloria: How dumb do they think we are?
Phil: Sometimes Claire leaves me pictures instead of food instead of a shopping list.

Jay I miss you. Besides I don't know that I can keep Phil safe anymore, I think he's going to die here.

Claire: I'm sorry but you know how i am about heights.
Gloria: Is that why you never wear high heels?

Gloria: I don't eat anything unless I know what's in it.
Jay: I've once seen this woman scarf down a pig's nose.

Excuse me, how much is that doggie in the window?

Gloria: This is fun for me. You're my stepdaughter.
Claire: I'm older than you.

What happened to him? He didn't used to be that self-conscious before high school. He used to go around in his poncho, play the band flute. I miss my old Manny.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.


I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women.
Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams… Wait a minute.

Phil Dunphy