Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Manny: You have to face it Jay, one day I’m gonna be moving out of this house.
Jay: Can I get that in writing? Cause I just can’t shake this image of a 30 year old you, eating my food and cuddling with my wife.
Gloria: Boys should never stop cuddling their mothers.
Jay: I’m gonna have nightmares!

Jay: I’m waiting for a phone call from my doctor’s office. Please rate your prostate exam. Would you say you were satisfied?
Gloria: I hope you weren’t!

Jay: Hi hunnie.
Gloria: I got in trouble.
Jay: Whatever she did, add it to my tab.

For someone whose favorite words at the movies are "what did he say?" you overhear pretty good.

You know what they say, houseguests start to stink after 3 days like dead bodies.

Sisters before misters!

Hello Houstons? We have a situation.

You didn’t seem to care when you were eating all his practice cake.

I don't like another woman in my house. I want to be the star.

I remember something nice you did. You bought me this dress yesterday when you were working.

Jay: I won't be able to hear her, she won't be able to see me.
Gloria: Well be together forever!

Gloria (whispers): It's the curse.
Jay: Not that I ever want to discourage you from whispering, but that's not a thing.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 136 in total

Modern Family Quotes

I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

Cameron

Phil: I'm just excited. After today you're going to be a councilwoman and I'm going to be a first husband.
Claire: If you don't stop filming, you're going to be MY first husband.

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