Michael: ...But I can't. I have to teach George Michael how to drive.
Gob: Michael if I make this comeback I'll buy you one hundred George Michael's you can teach to drive.
Michael: You're losing blood aren't you?
Gob: Probably. My socks are wet.
Michael: I'm sorry.
Gob: You'll be sorry! Wait that doesn't work after his line.

Gob: My middle finger and index finger are --
Dr. Stein: Switched! For the first time ever.

Buster: Now, our magic trick.
Gob: Illusion.
Buster: Silent, slave! In this magic trick, I'm going to put a sword through my assistant's tummy. May I have the trick sword, please?!
Gob: It's a real sword, (sarcastically) master.

(After Indian candidate's video)
Gob: (hiding in crowd) Go home, you terrorist!
Michael: How stupid do you have to be to say something like that ...?
Gob: (revealed) You're not wanted here!

Gob: I figured out a way to make money while I'm working.
Michael: But that is what we call working.

(referring to Ann) Plus, she's religious. That one gets pregnant, it stays pregnant. Believe me, I dated a chick like that once in high school ... no, I didn't.

Gob: Well, guess who's been fired.
Lucille: Michael fired you?
Gob: No, I fired him. As a result, I'm no longer welcome in the office.

(referring to Steve Holt) This kid's popular? Looks like a chick I did once in high school.

Michael: You know, if that hand is still intact inside the seal, Buster's got a shot at a transplant.
Gob: At the very least, we can get Buster's Swatch back, right?

Michael: Ok, that would be disgusting if you'd actually slept with her, but I don't think you did.
Gob: I did and it was disgusting.
Narrator: They didn't, but it would have been.

Barry: You really wanna settle this, now your job is to convince that "wife" of yours that you are willing to go in front of a judge and admit that you never had sex.
Gob: She has a name Barry. You don't happen to know what it is by the way, do ya?
Barry: That's why I want to settle...I'm not "super prepared".
Gob: Well, we did have sex...and I'm not a great liar.
Narrator: Both things he just said were lies.

Barry: You don't want to go in front of that judge. I caught him in a drag club.
Gob: What were you doing there?
Barry: Wow, you should be the lawyer.

Arrested Development Quotes

Gob: Take off your glasses. Oh ... Wait, wait. Let down your hair. No, glasses on, hair back up. Let's just get that hair right back up.
Kitty: Let me turn the lights off.
Gob: Yes, yes, please.
Kitty: How's that? Is that better?
Gob: It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.

Soon, George Michael went to Ann's to try to win her back. But her Uncle Paul told him that Ann had moved in with her boyfriend. He also mentioned that we all only had 3 more weeks on earth and that fossils were just something the Jews buried in 1924.

Narrator