Michael, I'm your big brother. I'll never be impressed with you.

Gob: One of this guy's eyebrows just fell in the bowl of candy beans.
Sitwell: I always carry a spare.
Gob: Well I hope you also carry a spare bowl of candy beans!

Sitwell: The only thing I ask is out of the four hundred and fifty homes we build, one be given to a disadvantaged family from the inner city.
Gob: That's great, so the other 449 families live in fear? Is that what we're saying? Come on!

Gob: I did the right thing, Michael. If I don't fire them, how do I teach a lesson to the others?
Michael: There are no others. You fired everyone.

(about wearing his father's clothes) But I did finally get into Dad's pants. Although I had to have the crotch taken in a little bit.

Al: Need a hand with that?
Gob: No, Al, I want to spill booze all over my freaking $6,300 suit. Come on on!!

Gob: God, how they used to laugh with me.
Michael: At you.

And please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of inter-office *BLEEP*ing, or *BLEEP*ing, or finger-*BLEEP*ing, or *BLEEP*ing or *BLEEP*ing, or even *BLEEP*, even though so many people in this office are begging for it. And if anybody does anything with my sister Lindsay, I'll take off my pants, I'll shave my *BLEEP*, and I'll personally *BLEEP*.

</i> Gob

Gob: Gary's gay?
Michael: Yeah.
Gob: Uh-oh. He's going to think I was coming on to him.
(Flashback)
Gob: (to Gary) You've got a nice mouth.
(Another flashback)
Gob: I'd kill for that ass.
(Another flashback)
Gob: (with Gary on his lap) Okay, the chair's not doing it now, but, lately, it's been giving out as soon as I lean back.

Gob: Show tonight?
Tobias: Well, I won't know officially until 8:01. But I figured if I Blue myself early, I'd be nice and relaxed for a 9:00 dinner reservation.

Michael: You know I didn't set you up, ok? I really think the only reason you and I always fight is that since we were little kids, Dad's always played us off each other.
Gob: Dad always said that was your fault.

Michael: How is he, doctor?
Doctor: It, uh, it looks like he's dead.
Lucille: Oh, my God!
Gob: Oh, little guy ... the tears aren't coming. The tears just aren't coming.

Arrested Development Quotes

She sometimes takes a little pack of mayonnaise and she'll squirt it in her mouth all over. And then she'll take an egg and kind of...mmmm! She calls it a 'mayon-egg.' Are you okay?

George Michael

Oh, mercy me! I forgot that we were in the colonies.

Mrs. Featherbottom