Cougar Town

Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar town
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Ellie: I need a drink.
Grayson: Tough day?
Ellie: No, why?

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Oh come on Ellie, we all know Travis is ambitious, talented, and has a fantastic work ethic. [Everyone laughs]

I’m intrigued, but I’m still convinced she’s going to drain them of their blood and leave them all in a ditch.

Ellie: I'd be so much of a better husband than you. You're lucky you have a penis.
Grayson: Yup, they're pretty cool.

Yes, you've made me dumber, congratulations.

Laurie: Burn in hell you sad, desperate skank.
Grayson: Texting your mom?
Laurie: Yeah.

Jules: Time for family dinner.
Grayson: Uh, if it's family, then why is she here?
Ellie: What am I supposed to do eat with Andy? I did that yesterday.

Grayson: And is this why Travis thinks he's so handsome.
Jules: Yep, that's all me.

Grayson: So Tom has a girlfriend. Does she not like Ellie?
Ellie: What? Why?
Grayson: Just assuming.
Ellie: Fair enough.

Jules: Who pretend throws things to show their anger?!
Grayson: Lots of people.

Grayson: Cheer up, Trav will eventually come by, you raised him to be dependent and helpless.
Jules: Thanks Babe.
Grayson: I knew you'd take that as a compliment.

Grayson: First up, check out the truth: freshly waxed.
Jules: Oooh, it's like a brand new, slightly gay Ferrari.
Grayson: I wish you wouldn't call my beauty regimen "slightly gay."
Jules: And I wish you wouldn't say "beauty regimen.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 108 in total

Cougar Town Quotes

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!

Wooo! How can I do woo wrong?

Jules