Just you and me and 20 seconds of peace and quiet

Yes, I have a daughter. I found out three years ago? Her name is Tampa? How come no one remembers that?

Ellie: I need a drink.
Grayson: Tough day?
Ellie: No, why?

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Oh come on Ellie, we all know Travis is ambitious, talented, and has a fantastic work ethic. [Everyone laughs]

I’m intrigued, but I’m still convinced she’s going to drain them of their blood and leave them all in a ditch.

Ellie: I'd be so much of a better husband than you. You're lucky you have a penis.
Grayson: Yup, they're pretty cool.

Yes, you've made me dumber, congratulations.

Laurie: Burn in hell you sad, desperate skank.
Grayson: Texting your mom?
Laurie: Yeah.

Jules: Time for family dinner.
Grayson: Uh, if it's family, then why is she here?
Ellie: What am I supposed to do eat with Andy? I did that yesterday.

Grayson: And is this why Travis thinks he's so handsome.
Jules: Yep, that's all me.

Grayson: So Tom has a girlfriend. Does she not like Ellie?
Ellie: What? Why?
Grayson: Just assuming.
Ellie: Fair enough.

Jules: Who pretend throws things to show their anger?!
Grayson: Lots of people.

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Ellie, I saw Andy's feet...I'm so sorry.
Ellie: No one understands.

Take OFF the mom goggles!

Laurie