Just you and me and 20 seconds of peace and quiet

Yes, I have a daughter. I found out three years ago? Her name is Tampa? How come no one remembers that?

Ellie: I need a drink.
Grayson: Tough day?
Ellie: No, why?

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Oh come on Ellie, we all know Travis is ambitious, talented, and has a fantastic work ethic. [Everyone laughs]

I’m intrigued, but I’m still convinced she’s going to drain them of their blood and leave them all in a ditch.

Ellie: I'd be so much of a better husband than you. You're lucky you have a penis.
Grayson: Yup, they're pretty cool.

Yes, you've made me dumber, congratulations.

Laurie: Burn in hell you sad, desperate skank.
Grayson: Texting your mom?
Laurie: Yeah.

Jules: Time for family dinner.
Grayson: Uh, if it's family, then why is she here?
Ellie: What am I supposed to do eat with Andy? I did that yesterday.

Grayson: And is this why Travis thinks he's so handsome.
Jules: Yep, that's all me.

Grayson: So Tom has a girlfriend. Does she not like Ellie?
Ellie: What? Why?
Grayson: Just assuming.
Ellie: Fair enough.

Jules: Who pretend throws things to show their anger?!
Grayson: Lots of people.

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Bonnie: I'm not perfect Jules.
Jules: Really.