Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSPopular Grayson Ellis Quotes
Grayson: I wish I had a time machine to undo... you.
Laurie: I would also use it to go back and tell my aunt not to give my cousin up for adoption. We're pretty sure she's Dakota Fanning.
Grayson: Yeah, she's not adopted.
Bobby: Come on man, it's time to start living like you have a mustache.
Grayson: Now that's gibberish.
Andy: No, it's not. It means I have to ask myself the ultimate question, what would Burt Reynolds do?
Oh god, I have heart burn in my brain.
Grayson: When women get older, it's icky. When men get older, it's adorable. It's my favorite double standard.
Jules: Yeah, I'm not a huge fan.
Grayson: Whoa, Andy, what's up?
Andy: I brought over pizza and beer.
Grayson: Why?
Andy: You know... I'm not sure.
Grayson: Okay, well, I have to go open up my restaurant, so...
Andy: I can't go home yet. They'll just make me come back.
Jules: When you act like you don't want to talk to me, it just makes me want to talk to you even more.
Grayson: That may be the world's most annoying personality trait.
Grayson [referring to Bobby's toaster]: Does this work?
Bobby: It works as a container for envelopes and if you put it on a plate, it makes a good prop toaster
Laurie: Well I have tons of guy friends.
Grayson: Have you slept with any of them?
Laurie: Yeah, I've slept with all of the them, but only as friends.
You pull any crap with her and you'll answer to me. You can lock your doors but I live right next to you, Tom. I'll just jump on the roof and come down your damn chimney. I won't be bring any presents. Not unless you've been saving for the heel of my boot.
Grayson: Oprah says talking on your cell while driving is crazy dangerous.
Travis: Does Oprah say anything about how lame it is for a grown ass man to watch Oprah?
Grayson: Nope, she loves us.
Jules: I cannot wait for this bathroom to be done. In fact, put it in your calenders because I'm going to have a bathroom warming party.
Grayson: Can I bring Sarah to what sounds like the worst party ever?
Jules: When a 40-something guy gets divorced, it's always: "Way to go, Tiger!"
Grayson: We don't call each other Tiger. It's always Champ, or Samurai.
