Grayson: You know, as a parent.
Jules: As a parent? You just found out you were a Dad 48 hours ago.
Ellie: Yeah, come down Day 2. Now, as a parent of several years what I think-
Jules: I'll let you finish that thought if you can tell me where your child is right now.
Ellie: I'm out.

Travis: Grayson, I didn't know you were the little spoon.
Grayson: ...it makes me feel safe.

Holly, this is my fiancé, Jules, and her scary judgmental friend.

Jules: Roleplayahs!
Grayson: You have the right to remain naked!

Tom: The Bicycle Boys stole my fountain.
Jules: [Gasp]
Grayson: No!
Andy: Come on!
Ellie: Damn them!

Grayson: I thought you wanted to do all the talking?
Jules: Speechless.

Jules: All I want to do is make you happy.
Grayson: Really? Maybe tonight we'll..
Jules: ... it's not about sex, babe. But I want you to try to keep listening.
Grayson: I'll try my best.

Grayson: The idea of us all vacationing together is so bad, I'm making up a word: gagbysmal.

Hercules! Hercules!

Ellie: Are those all our houses?
Grayson: And that's us there, burning alive. You don't even have a head. No, wait, there it is.
Ellie: Why is my severed head still screaming?

Ellie: You should be spraying it from the other side to push it all towards the curb.
Grayson: Are you really telling me how to hose?

Grayson: Like Children of the Corn.
Ellie: I crown you King of the Wussies.
Jules: They don't blink.
Ellie: I feel cold.
Grayson: Told ya!

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!