Haley: Oh yeah she can wear whatever she wants after I've had it for six months.
Alex: Or I get it automatically if you buy anything that looks like it.

Phil: How low can you go?
Haley: I'm at a roller rink with my family on a Saturday night. I win!

Haley: Okay so after a quick scan of his facebook, twitter, tumblr, pinterest and instagram, this is what I know.
Luke: Privacy is dead?

Haley: Went to college at a place called MIT.
Alex: M.I.T.
Haley: I know how to spell it.

Phil: It's coming from the future and it ain't pretty.
Haley: I don't understand, in the future I'm not pretty?

Haley: Dad tried to fix all our problems and instead ruined all our lives.
Alex: Nightmare.
Claire: You girls are so dramatic. Do I need to call you a wambulance?

Haley: You used to be fun.
Phil: You used to be....what? Oh yeah, at college.

Alex: Hey are you sure you don't wanna play The Hunger Games with all of us?
Haley: My whole life is a hunger game, why do you think I'm so mean to you?

I know how awesome college is, that's how I got kicked out.

There's something about going to work that makes you feel like, I don't know, you're worth something. No offense mom.

Ok on one hand I'm like ugh I have to pick up garbage all day and on the other hand I'm like wow look at me in orange!

Haley: What is this a solar system?
Alex: They're molecules.
Haley: No they're nerdy balls.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.


Manny: Does this feel like a short visit to you, or a long one?
Jay: The pregnant one brought a stroller.