Haley: Oh yeah she can wear whatever she wants after I've had it for six months.
Alex: Or I get it automatically if you buy anything that looks like it.

Phil: How low can you go?
Haley: I'm at a roller rink with my family on a Saturday night. I win!

Haley: Okay so after a quick scan of his facebook, twitter, tumblr, pinterest and instagram, this is what I know.
Luke: Privacy is dead?

Haley: Went to college at a place called MIT.
Alex: M.I.T.
Haley: I know how to spell it.

Phil: It's coming from the future and it ain't pretty.
Haley: I don't understand, in the future I'm not pretty?

Haley: Dad tried to fix all our problems and instead ruined all our lives.
Alex: Nightmare.
Claire: You girls are so dramatic. Do I need to call you a wambulance?

Haley: You used to be fun.
Phil: You used to be....what? Oh yeah, at college.

Alex: Hey are you sure you don't wanna play The Hunger Games with all of us?
Haley: My whole life is a hunger game, why do you think I'm so mean to you?

I know how awesome college is, that's how I got kicked out.

There's something about going to work that makes you feel like, I don't know, you're worth something. No offense mom.

Ok on one hand I'm like ugh I have to pick up garbage all day and on the other hand I'm like wow look at me in orange!

Haley: What is this a solar system?
Alex: They're molecules.
Haley: No they're nerdy balls.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

You're the last person who should give me anything. You got me here. You got me to graduation, to Cal tech. You did it. You're done.

Alex