Haley: In Legally Blonde Elle won her case because she was true to herself and dressed cute.
Phil: Haley this is real life, not an excellent movie.

Luke take me to mom and move slow, I'm still drunk...ing my coffee, mom!

You should just dip yourself in boy repellant!

Haley: Oh my God, what is that outfit? Are you going goth? You still sleep with a stuffed panda.
Alex: Isn't there a fraternity you need to pass out in?

Do you see what's going on out there? People are walking around judging each other.

Haley: Don't dork up our room.
Alex: Don't slut up your college.

Proms are lame, it's just an excuse for dressed up dorks to ride in limos and hump each other.

Haley: This is just like last year when you wouldn't take off those skinny jeans.
Alex: Woudn't or couldn't?
Phil: Hey I looked hot!

Haley: He's gonna ruin my party!
Gloria: Two birds, one bullet.

Thank you Uncle Manny!

Alex: Dear Miss Dunphy, we regret to inform you...
Haley: What? Don't leave me hanging!

Claire: Hey how come you guys haven't accepted my friend requests?
Haley: I didn't know you were on Facebook.
Alex: Yeah you said it was only for teenagers or people who wanted to have affairs.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

You're like a mob wife. You complain about what I do, but have no problem wearing the fur that fell off the back of the truck.

Mitchell