Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Haley: Don't dork up our room.
Alex: Don't slut up your college.

Proms are lame, it's just an excuse for dressed up dorks to ride in limos and hump each other.

Haley: This is just like last year when you wouldn't take off those skinny jeans.
Alex: Woudn't or couldn't?
Phil: Hey I looked hot!

Haley: He's gonna ruin my party!
Gloria: Two birds, one bullet.

Thank you Uncle Manny!

Alex: Dear Miss Dunphy, we regret to inform you...
Haley: What? Don't leave me hanging!

Claire: Hey how come you guys haven't accepted my friend requests?
Haley: I didn't know you were on Facebook.
Alex: Yeah you said it was only for teenagers or people who wanted to have affairs.

She promised she wouldn't tell Dad until after I left for college, which means that he may never have found out.

It happens. Dolls grow up.

Phil: Someday I'll be walking you down the aisle.
Haley: Not if you're in perv jail.

There's this really cute boy at school and he kind of likes my feet.

Uh I have a party tonight. You promised I could go if I got a B on my test. I studied, I read stuff, what was the point of all that?

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