Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Alex: Dear Miss Dunphy, we regret to inform you...
Haley: What? Don't leave me hanging!

Claire: Hey how come you guys haven't accepted my friend requests?
Haley: I didn't know you were on Facebook.
Alex: Yeah you said it was only for teenagers or people who wanted to have affairs.

She promised she wouldn't tell Dad until after I left for college, which means that he may never have found out.

It happens. Dolls grow up.

Phil: Someday I'll be walking you down the aisle.
Haley: Not if you're in perv jail.

There's this really cute boy at school and he kind of likes my feet.

Uh I have a party tonight. You promised I could go if I got a B on my test. I studied, I read stuff, what was the point of all that?

Saying nothing is not lying. It's just letting the truth speak for itself.

Uncle Cam, as her future prom date can you please talk to her? You know fashion and stuff.

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