There's this really cute boy at school and he kind of likes my feet.

Uh I have a party tonight. You promised I could go if I got a B on my test. I studied, I read stuff, what was the point of all that?

Saying nothing is not lying. It's just letting the truth speak for itself.

Uncle Cam, as her future prom date can you please talk to her? You know fashion and stuff.

Let me burn your clothes!

Dear College, Cheese makes me gassy, see you in September.

Haley: Did my 3rd grade teacher say I have ADD or something.
Claire: No honey she said you couldn't A-D-D because she also knew you couldn't S-P-E-L-L.

Are you trying to ruin college for me before it even starts?

Haley: You're a freshman, what are you doing in second year math?
Alex: You're a senior, what are you still doing in second year math?
Haley: Not still, again!

Alex: Could you L a little less O L? Can't you see what I'm trying to do here?
Haley: Die alone?

Haley: I'm kind hungry mom.
Phil: Oh my god she's back!

Haley: If you do this you'll be a social piranha.
Alex: Yes, I'll be an Amazonian carnivorous fish.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

Claire: My mom started drinking these cocktails called "horny Colombians" with some of Gloria's uncles, whom apparently the drink was named after
Phil: Oh come, they were funny
Claire: They kept grabbing my butt
Phil: Somebody is full of herself. It's a Colombian wedding tradition.. they said