So what's the move here? Good cop, bad cop, bald cop?

That's right, we're pullin' you over mutha fukka!

I can't believe this, we are actually sitting around watching a cop eat doughnuts.

Cop: I never pulled my piece out on the job, never, not once.
Hank: Ah, too bad the same can't be said for Runkes.

Samurai: What the fuck you got against Ryan Seacrest man?
Hank: Nothing in particular, the guy just bugs the shit out of me.
Samurai: Why? This mother fucker, he works hard, makes millions of dollars and he got a fuckin' catchphrase which I don't have and you wanna kill him dead? That's some harsh shit Moody.

No she's not right and even if she were you're her parent. It's your job to make her feel like she's wrong.

Innocent until proven diminutive.

Hank: Here's to bending over and taking it, Hollywood style.
Bates: And this from the nineteenth writer on Santa Monica Cap, I'm touched.
Hank: Ah douché my friend, douché .

Carrie: I'm so drunk on cock...stay here and fuck me again and again and again.
Hank: You don't want to live forever do you?

Let's get you home before this low rider turns back into a pumpkin.

Hank: Charlie is that a dildo in your pocket or you just happy to see me?
Charlie: I think I must have been reliving that pee thing, now it's just a shame boner.

Sometimes it's better not to touch your dreams.

Californication Quotes

I feel like the good lord himself picked me up with his bare hands, laid me down on a bed of rusty nails, pinned my ankles behind my ears and just stuck it in. No Vaseline no lube no nothin. Not even a little spittle. That mother fu-ker just took his Darth Vader helmet, that big Darth Vader helmet and just rammed it home. He wrecked my pretty little virgin a--hole, my sweet little brown bud. Pulled out, came on my t-ts, wiped his di-k on the curtains and left me for dead. That's just me. How bout you guys?

Hank

Try not to forget all the times I brought you to fruition. 33 to be exact.

Hank Moody