Venture Brothers
Sundays 11:30 PM on Cartoon NetworkHank Venture Quotes
Monarch: Well, Hank...what's it like to be a... liar?!? Huh? You like being a liar, with pants constantly on fire?!
Tiny Attorney: Objection, your Honor! Leadin'.
Monarch: I'll rephrase that. Hank, are you a liar?
Hank: No sir, I don't think so.
Monarch: Yes you are!
Dean: You're the liar!
Monarch: And may I remind you that I am rubber and you are glue and whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!
Brock: Who do you think supplied the department with new cruisers last year?
Dr. Venture: My tax dollars, for one.
Hank: Santa Claus, for two!
Dean: Saliva is nature's glue.
Hank: And raisins are nature's candy!
Brock: The Guild works clean, professional. It's surgical with them. In a way, they're the only organization I still respect.
Hank: And they kill clean. Don't let dames get in the way.
Brock: Honestly, Hank, where do you pick that stuff up? I never see you read.
Dean: It's weird, right?
Brock: It's like he channels dead crazy people!
Hank: You... think it's a cry for help?
Okay, this is getting weird! You're not going to tell me you went to college with the Monarch too? Where did you go to school - Super Crazy No-Way School?!
Hank: You see dead guys all the time.
Dean: When?
Hank: Dude, just last week Brock killed two dervishes with a pillowcase full of coats. Right in our bedroom!
Dean: He knocked them out!
Hank: Oh, sing yourself another lullaby, Baby Dean. The police took them away in body bags!
Dean: Sleeping bags! Those were sleeping bags!
Hank: It feels weird seeing someone else fly the X-1.
Col. Gentleman: Don't worry, boys. Despite Kano's racial handicap, he's an excellent pilot. Why, he can land this on a puffin... or a Smurf
Hank: So, how come you're not old and stuff like the others?
Otto: Oh, but I am. I'm half-Atlantean and so I age differently.
Dean: Wow. How do you get to be like that?
Action Man: A drunk sailor's gotta have his way with your mer-mom
Hank: What was Underbheit like back in the old days?
Mr. White: Well, except for the metal jaw, pretty much the same. Total dick
Hank: Hey, I had to sleep in my clothes. Now I feel gross wearing them two days in a row!
Monarch: You're kidding me, right? That's the only outfit I've never seen you in!
Hank: Well that doesn't mean I never wash it.
Monarch: Fair enough
Monarch: I treat my captives as kings. You will be given the finest of accommodations.
Hank: Hey! Last time I was here you threw me in a stinky jail cell!
Monarch: You broke my heart, Hank...
Monarch: How do you think your father knew everything about it?
Hank: Because... he's a genius super-scientist?
Monarch: I like to dream too, Hank
