I should probably wait until he's capable of wiping himself.

Hannah: You don't have a plan.
Marnie: I think maybe that's a good thing for me.

Marnie: She captured something really true about the uncertainty of being our age. I cried twice.
Hannah: Well are you getting your period?

She did everything right, including getting her boyfriend to kill himself.

Adam: Could you fly?
Hannah: No I couldn't fly, but I didn't have ears that big.

Hannah: Okay that's Adam
Jessa: He does sort of look like the original man.

Last time I got drunk I ate all this brie and threw up on my cell phone.

I've never seen him outside his house. I've never seen him with a shirt on!

Why is everyone struggling in New York? Why don't we all just move here and start the revolution?

You are from New York, therefore you are just naturally interesting.

I have been dating someone who treats my heart like it's monkey meat. I feel like a delusional, invisible person half the time so I need to learn what it's like to be treated well before it's too late for me.

I didn't lose my job, I gave it away.

Girls Quotes

Ok I think I got everything, testicles, spectacles, wallet, and watch.

Hannah

Jessa: It's pot, do you want some?
Shoshanna: Oh no, I'm hyper enough already.