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Bender: Bite my freshly-molted, blubber-filled ass.
Hermes: You're just a giant lump of fat. Do you even have an ass under there?
Bender: I'm 40% ass! Arf arf!

Hermes: Jumpin' is for suckers. Oh ho, I'm good. Who wants a piece of me?
Zoidberg: I'll try a bite!

Bender: It's been quite a journey. I dropped out of school, joined a gang, took money from a loan shark, and fell into a spiral of despair, addiction, and discount prostitution.
Hermes: Mon, you had one hell of a day.

Hermes: Oh no, no more implants. I don't want to end up a cold, emotionless machine like you.
Bender: Oh, that's sweet, Hermes.

Zoidberg: Welcome back old friend, I missed you terribly!
Hermes: You do everything terribly! And I'm not your friend!
Zoidberg: Hahahaha! Good old Hermes! When he stops insulting, that's when I worry!

LaBarbara: Is that a harpoon in your chest?!
Hermes: Yes! And I'm happy to see you!

Hemes: So I hear you're an expert in the shadowy field of body augmentation?
Yuri: I am expert in shadowy field of many things.

Zoidberg: You don't understand, he was the only one who cared enough to insult me! I'll never see Hermes again!
Hermes: On the bright side, I'll never see Zoidberg again.

Hermes: People, as company bureaucrat, I will today be performing the annual performance review - with a twist!
Fry: Oh no, the firing tie!
Hermes: Correct. I will be evaluating each of you, and the lowest-rated employee - possibly Zoidberg - will be fired at sundown. Zoidberg.
Zoidberg: Hohohohoho. Classic Hermes.

Is it just me, or is the world ending more often these days?

Fry: So I went to the bathroom and my pee was green! Pretty neat, huh?
Hermes: I was wondering who Shreked in the toilet!

Doctor: My God I've never seen such a gruesome shark attack, especially this far inland.
Leela: It wasn't a shark it was an awful, incompetent doctor.
Doctor: Wow, he must have been a total zoidberg.
Hermes: It was Zoidberg!

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