Hilda Suarez Quotes
Hilda: We're trying to plan a wedding here
Santos: That's right, best man. What you don't want to help with this?
Justin: I told mom if she went with the green organze for the brides maids, she's on her own
Betty: She wants me to fill out mom's side of the tree
Hilda: ...and you can climb it with those toenails
Hilda [translating Curandera's fortune]: ...and the answer is behind the tree
Betty: What does that mean?
Hilda: It means the woman is nuts. A minute ago she was eating a candle.
Hilda [to Curandera]: Thank you, gracias, goodbye Mrs Crazy
Hilda: Papi, tell them you didn't get your complimentary travel kit. cause if I get another I can use them as bridesmaids' gifts
Betty: Here, you can have mine
Hilda: Oh no, you keep yours, you're my maid of honor
Hilda: The test just said I had to do a manicure, it didn't say on who.
[Hilda shows off her nails]
Hilda: I wasn't gonna waste all this hotness on someone else
Ignacio: and you just quit beauty school...
Hilda: I didn't want to quit, they just stopped appreciating all of this
I loved my prom, and 9 months later I had a wonderful reminder of it
[Hilda rubs Justin's head]
Ignacio: Hilda, you were out with Santos. I heard you climb the drain pipe. Did he at least walk you to it and give you a boost?
Hilda: You never let up, God I hate this house! I'm so out of here when I'm fourty!
A job is not about making friends, it's about making money and stealing office supplies. By the way, we are out of coffee filters
Betty: What are you doing sneaking in my window like your back in high school?
Hilda: I was out last night, with Santos, but I don't want Papi to know or Justin, yet. I mean I don't know if this is I love you or I love you naked
Betty: OK, so you are back in high school
Betty: ...a guy is the last thing i should be thinking about
Hilda: Why? you're young, you have a good job, your own apartment
Justin: And you're wearing heels sometimes... thank god
[Hilda is doing Constance's hair]
Constance: Are you sure this weave will make me look like Beyonce?
Hilda: Girl, when I'm done, Jay-Z will be ringing your alarm!
Constance: Does your daddy like it up, down, or all around?
Hilda: Yes, we're still talking about hair right?
