Popular Homer Simpson Quotes
Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: Marge, where's that... metal... dealy... you use to... dig... food?
Marge: You mean a spoon?
Homer: Yeah yeah yeah!
I'll make a wish that can't backfire! I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce, and mustard, and... I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't wanna turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any more weird surprises, you got it! (Homer eats)... Mmm, not bad, nice hot mustard, good bread, turkeys a little dry... THE TURKEY'S A LITTLE DRY!!!
Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!
Homer: Alright Bart, that's it! Go to your room! Now!
Bart: Okay, I'll take some white meat and some stuffing to go and send in the pumpkin pie in about twenty minutes.
Homer: I said now!
Bart: Mom do I have too?
Marge: Yes you do! I hope your happy Bart! You ruined Thanksgiving!
Dondelinger: Now, I'm going to burn this donut to show you how many calories it has.
Dondelinger: The bright blue flame indicates this was a particularly sweet donut.
Homer: This is not happening!
Oh Marge, you came and you found me a turkey on my vacation away from worky.
Do you know how embarrassed I was to get a call at my arraignment for my behavior during the pub crawl because of a voodoo curse my son placed on his art teacher?
We shows girls love on Valentine's Day, and they let us blow things up on the Fourth of July. I just pray they never fall on the same day.
Marge: Oh God! Someone carved swastikas on your eyes.
Homer: Oh Marge, I'm sure it was just some guy filled with hate.
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
(reading his poem)
There once was a rapping tomato,
That's right I said rapping tomato,
He rapped all day from April to May,
And also guess what, it was me.