Homer Simpson Quotes
Homer: Lisa you like homework, could you fill out this form for me?
Lisa: Well, alright. If you listen to the poem I just wrote.
Homer: D'oh! Okay.
Lisa: I had a cat named Snowball, she died, she died. Mom said she was sleeping, she lied, she lied! Why, oh why is my cat dead? Couldn't that Chrysler hit me instead? (Pause) I had a hamster named Snuffy, he died--
Homer: No deal!
- Permalink: Lisa you like homework, could you fill out this form for me? W...
Michael Jackson (Leon): I can't believe you never heard of me, I'm a very popular entertainer!
Homer: Oh of course I've heard of you, you'd have to be living under a rock not to know... what did you say your name was?
- Permalink: I can't believe you never heard of me, I'm a very popular entert...
Michael Jackson (Leon): You seem like a nice guy, why did they put you in here?
Homer: Cuz I wore a pink shirt?
Michael Jackson (Leon): I understand. People thought I was crazy for the way I dressed.
Homer: What did you wear?
Michael Jackson (Leon): One white glove, covered with Rhinestones.
Homer: (rubs finger up and down his lips making a 'bibbity bobbity sound)
- Permalink: You seem like a nice guy, why did they put you in here? Cuz I ...
Homer: (talking in sleep) Cakes, football, boobies.
Michael Jackson (Leon): Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.
- Permalink: Cakes, football, boobies. Bubbles, it's gonna be a long night.
Marge, I can't wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white shirts. I'm not popular enough to be different!
- Permalink: Marge, I can't wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white ...
Bart: (Answering phone) Joe's Taxidermy. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em!
Homer: Boy! When I get home, I'm going to wrap my hands around your neck--
(The mental doctors suddenly gasp and look at Homer.)
Homer: --and smother you with kisses.
Bart: Dad, whatever they got you on, cut the dose!
- Permalink: Joe's Taxidermy. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em! Boy! When I get ...
Mr. Burns: (reading Homer's letter) "Dear Mr. Burns. I'm so glad you enjoyed my son's blood, and your card was just great." Why Simpson, you've made my day, you're a true gentlemen.
Homer: Well I-
Mr. Burns: Hello, there's more. (continues reading) "In case you can't tell, I'm being sarcastic. You stink! You are a senile bucktoothed old mummy with bony girl arms and you smell like an elephant's butt!"
- Permalink: Dear Mr. Burns. I'm so glad you enjoyed my son's blood, and your...
Homer: Don't you know the story of Hercules and the lion?
Bart: Is it a Bible story?
Homer: Yeah, probably. Anyway, once upon a time, there was a big mean lion who got a thorn in his paw. All the village people tried to pull it out, but nobody was strong enough! So they got Hercules, and Hercules used his mighty strength, and...bingo! Anyway, the moral is, the lion was so happy, he gave Hercules this big...thing...of riches.
Bart: How did a lion get rich?
Homer: It was the olden days!
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(Homer tries to retrieve the angry letter that Bart accidentally put in the mail.)
Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
P.O. Worker: Okay, Mr. Burns. What's your first name?
Homer: I...don't know.
- Permalink: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me....