Homer Simpson Quotes
US Mint Tour Guide: Folks, we print more than 18 million bills a day. Oh, and in case you were wondering, no, we don't give out free samples.
Homer: Lousy cheap country.
- Permalink: Folks, we print more than 18 million bills a day. Oh, and in cas...
Guy with Mustache: Then one Monday morning, I got up. I got up, I couldn't leave the house. I just couldn't.
Homer: Was the door locked?
Guy with Mustache: No, I just couldn't face what was out there.
Homer: Was it raining?
- Permalink: Then one Monday morning, I got up. I got up, I couldn't leave th...
Homer: (On phone with Bart) Now make sure we have plenty of cold cuts, and put some beer on ice--
Michael: Um, Homer, I'm a vegetarian, and I don't drink.
Homer: Are you sure you're here voluntarily?
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Leon: Hi. I'm Michael Jackson, from the Jacksons.
Homer: I'm Homer Simpson, from the Simpsons.
- Permalink: Hi. I'm Michael Jackson, from the Jacksons. I'm Homer Simpson,...
(Bart fills out Homer's psychiatric form for him.)
Bart: Dad, do you hear voices?
Homer: (Annoyed) Yes, I hear voices, although I'm trying to watch TV.
Bart: (Checks "yes") Check. Are you quick to anger?
Homer: (Upset) Bart! Shut up, or I will shut you up.
Bart: (Checks "yes") Check. Do you wet your pants? Hmm, well I guess if that was an occasional accident.
(Starts checking "yes" to every question.)
- Permalink: Dad, do you hear voices? Yes, I hear voices, although I'm try...
(Mr. Burns, Smithers, Dr. Marvin Monroe and other doctors review Homer's test shaking their heads in disbelief making tsk-tsk noises.)
Homer: So did I pass doc?
Mr. Burns: N-no.
(Doctors grab Homer and escort him out. Homer gasps and screeches.)
Smithers: Careful men. He wets his pants.
- Permalink: So did I pass doc? N-no. Careful men. He wets his pants.
Homer: Honey, could you do me a favor and fill out this form?
Marge: Homer this is an intimate phsychological profile, I can't fill this out for you!
Homer: Alright. Alright. I'll get Lisa to do it!
- Permalink: Honey, could you do me a favor and fill out this form? Homer t...
Homer: Lisa you like homework, could you fill out this form for me?
Lisa: Well, alright. If you listen to the poem I just wrote.
Homer: D'oh! Okay.
Lisa: I had a cat named Snowball, she died, she died. Mom said she was sleeping, she lied, she lied! Why, oh why is my cat dead? Couldn't that Chrysler hit me instead? (Pause) I had a hamster named Snuffy, he died--
Homer: No deal!
- Permalink: Lisa you like homework, could you fill out this form for me? W...
Michael Jackson (Leon): I can't believe you never heard of me, I'm a very popular entertainer!
Homer: Oh of course I've heard of you, you'd have to be living under a rock not to know... what did you say your name was?
- Permalink: I can't believe you never heard of me, I'm a very popular entert...