The Simpsons

Homer Simpson Quotes (Page 135)

Todd plays the violin at the school concert
Ned: (Crying) My son, my son!
Homer: Come on Flanders, he's not that bad.
 • Rating: Unrated

Principal Skinner: Tonight Sherbert's, heh, heh, Shubert's Unfinished Symphony.
Homer: Oh, good, unfinished. This shouldn't take long.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Lisa, Bart and his friends watch wrestling on TV)
Bart: Two titans at the height of their careers. Ahh, if you ask me, this is gonna be one hell of a match.
Lisa: Oh, Bart, I hope you're not taking this seriously. Even a five-year-old knows that this is as choreographed as any ballet.
(Cut to Homer, who is at Moe's watching the same thing and talking to Barney.)
Homer: Eh, Rasputin's got the reach. But on the other hand, the professor's got his patented coma lock. If you ask me, this is gonna be one hell of a match.
 • Rating: Unrated

(After finding out he might not be able to go to the truck rally.)
Homer: Oh cruel Fate, why do you mock me?
 • Rating: Unrated

(Listening to Shubert's Unfinished Symphony)
Homer: D'oh! How much longer was Sherbert planning on making this piece of junk?
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: See Maggie, those silver-and-blue guys are the Dallas Cowboys. They're Daddy's favorite team. And he wants them to lose by less than five and a half points. Understand?
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Homer: This is Thanksgiving, so glue friendly or else I'll take away the glue and then nobody will have any glue to glue with!
Lisa: Dad, this isn't about glue, it's about territoriality. He only wants the glue because I'm using it.
Bart: Oh yeah, prove it (she hands him the glue) Hey man, I don't want your stupid glue.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Who the hell is that?
Homer: Bullwinkle.
Bart: Who? Wait a minute, who's that?
Homer: Underdog, don't you know anything?
Bart: It wouldn't hurt them to use some cartoons made in the last fifty years.
Homer: Bart, this is the tradition. If you build a balloon for every flash in the pad cartoon character, you'll turn the parade into a farce.
(Bart balloon shows up on the television)
 • Rating: Unrated

Grampa: What's your hurry?
Homer: This place is depressing.
Grampa: Hey!I live here!
Homer: I'm sure it's a blast once you get used to it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: And lord, we're especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream. Anyway, we'd like to thank you for the occasional moments of peace and love our family's experienced. Well, not today, you saw what happened! Oh lord, be honest! Are we the most pathetic family in the universe or what?
Family: Amen.
Selma: Worst prayer yet.
 • Rating: Unrated

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