The Simpsons

Homer Simpson Quotes (Page 142)

Homer: Are you sure that's enough? You know how the boss loves your delicious gelatin desserts!
Marge: Oh, Homer, Mr. Burns just said he liked it...once.
Homer: Marge, that's the only time he's ever spoken to me without using the word "bonehead."
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Monroe: Hello, I'm Doctor Marvin Monroe. No doubt you recognize me from TV.
Lisa: We would if we had one.
Homer: Lisa!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Now look, you know and I know this family needs help, professional help. So I've made us an appointment with Dr. Marvin Monroe.
Bart: The fat guy on TV?
Lisa: You're sending us to see a doctor who advertises on pro wrestling?
Homer: Boxing Lisa, boxing. There's a world of difference.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: To save this family, we're going to have to make the supreme sacrifice.
Lisa: No, Dad. Please don't pawn the TV!
Bart: Aw, come on, Dad, anything but that!
Marge: Homer, couldn't we pawn my engagement ring instead?
Homer: Now, I appreciate that honey, but we need $150 here.
Pawn Shop Owner: Afternoon, Simpson. So, what can I do for ya?
Homer: Would you pay $150 for this lovely Motorola?
Pawn Shop Owner: Is it cable ready?
Homer: Ready as she'll ever be.
Pawn Shop Owner: Mister, you got yourself a deal.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Okay, now look; my boss is going to be at this picnic, so I want you to show your father some love and/or respect.
Lisa: Tough choice.
Bart: I'm picking respect.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: You know, Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said, "Homer, you're a big disappointment," and god bless her soul, she was really onto something.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: You know, I defy anyone to tell the difference between these doughnuts and the ones baked today. Hey, my boy's supposed to be here any second on a field trip. They been through here yet?
Co-worker: Come on, Simpson. If they wanted the kids to see you sitting around on your butt and stuffin' your face, they'd take them on a tour of your house.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Kill myself? Killing myself is the last thing I'd ever do. Now I have a purpose, a reason to live. I don't care who I have to face. I don't care who I have to fight. I will not rest until this street gets a stop sign!
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed councilmen, boys and girls, retired people with nothing better to do. Danger comes in many, many forms, from the dinosaurs that tormented our cavemen ancestors, to the--
Councilman: Simpson, get to the point!
Homer: I think we should put a stop sign at "D" street and 12th. The other--
Councilman: All in favor?
Councilmen: Aye.
Councilman: Approved. Meeting adjourned. Coffee and maple logs in the lobby.
Homer: Wow. They listened to me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!