From the dad that brought you cemetery paintball and go carts on real roads..

Homer: I won't say, but his initials are S.F.
Roz: Stupid Flanders.

Homer: You're my personal savior.
Ned: Thank you but i don't approve..
Homer: Hail flanders, mightier than jesus

She's the most evil person to come out of Ohio since LeBron. But at least he thought long and hard before screwing everybody over. In public. For no reason.

If an emergency alarm goes off, there's ear plugs in the top drawer.

Marge, get my seal club, the big one.

For further communication I will require more beans.

Halloween - the one time of the year where the squalor of our home works to our advantage.

I'm the floor. I can't move. So far a normal Sunday morning...

So much violence on the surface world, I'm going back.

No! Not the middle seat!

Wayne: Your town appears on no maps or charts.
Homer: Yeah, they couldn't find a Google map photo without me naked or urinating.
Marge: And when there was a map makers convention here, we all got Lou Gerig's disease.
Homer: Not the one you're thinking of though, there's another one.

The Simpsons Quotes

Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart