Homer Simpson Quotes
She's the most evil person to come out of Ohio since LeBron. But at least he thought long and hard before screwing everybody over. In public. For no reason.
If an emergency alarm goes off, there's ear plugs in the top drawer.
Marge, get my seal club, the big one.
For further communication I will require more beans.
Halloween - the one time of the year where the squalor of our home works to our advantage.
I'm the floor. I can't move. So far a normal Sunday morning...
So much violence on the surface world, I'm going back.
No! Not the middle seat!
Wayne: Your town appears on no maps or charts.
Homer: Yeah, they couldn't find a Google map photo without me naked or urinating.
Marge: And when there was a map makers convention here, we all got Lou Gerig's disease.
Homer: Not the one you're thinking of though, there's another one.
I guess it's not much when you look at real problems in the world like Major League umpires not using instant replay.
Homer: My doctor said don't walk.
Marge: That was a traffic signal!
Bart: If fairytales have taught us anything, first wives are the best and second wives are terrible.
Homer: Just the opposite of real life.