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The-simpsons

If I was interested in fun, I would have ran the day you were born.

Homer: What should I buy first, a mirror that gives me advice or Hitler's baseball?
Mirror: My advice is to buy Hitler's baseball.

Any part of a cookie you can't eat is a waste of time.

Bart: Who the hell says pota-toe?
Homer: Song writers who are stuck for lyrics.

Homer: That is the most amazing doughnut I've ever tasted
Mr. Burns: Well, if you stay on with the Springfield nuclear plant, you could have one of these tasty beauties every day.
Lenny [about doughnut]: One of these every day might kill us.
Carl: Can we get a health plan to go with them?
Mr. Burns: Sure, you could have a health care or.... two donuts a day.

Bart: Why are great things always ruined by women: the army, Fantastic Four, think how awesome would American Idol be if it was just Simon and Randy?
Homer: You say that now, but when you're grown up, you'll just think it.

They took away our doughnuts at work! All I've had are my meals.

Grandpa: Why don't we let Homer tell the story.
Homer: Really, me? You mean it?
Grandpa: I think you're ready for your first ramble.
Homer: I've been waiting for this day for so long. The year is 1946, and in a world torn, a single flower blooms and that flower is an angry Japanese monster named Godzilla. How am I doing dad?
Grandpa: I'm hanging on every word.

Lisa: Slimu looks kind of uncomfortable.
Homer: Wouldn't you if you were a salt water fish in a fresh water aquarium?

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