Marge: (About the Merry Go Round) Can I go again?
Homer: All night, baby.
(Bart and Lisa groan.)

Old Man: I say let him fish it off. These waters are so barren, by the time he pays off the debt; he'll be as old and as queer as I am.
Homer: Queer-strange or queer-gay?
Old Man: A touch of both. (Laughs crazily, then makes kisses in the air to Homer)

Marge: Homer, that's too much sugar.
Homer: It's not sugar, it's carmel!

Homer: Give back that Holiday cheer, you bastard!
The Grumple: Never!

(Gil is eating chocolates from a heart-shaped box)
Gil: Hey Homer, it's Valentine's Day, what are you getting the misses?
Homer: (angrily) A heart-shaped box of chocolates!

Homer: Why did you let that loser into our home?
Marge: I'll tell you why--Christian charity.
Homer: Christian Charity? What does a porn star have to do with this?

Marge, admit it. You just can't say no to anyone. That's why you have three kids.

Homer: Time to do what I do best: Lie to a child.

No man should have to out live his fictional wizard! (sobs)

Homer: They killed Graystache!
Guy: Thanks for the spoiler, big mouth!
(Throws book at Homer)

(Tucking Lisa into bed) Okay. Tucked in tight, glass of water, night light on, no barn owls, don't do drugs, love you, good night!

Go love making!

Marge & Homer

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart