I think the hook is touching my brain.

Homer: Do you think your mother will ever re-marry?
Bart: In about two seconds.
Homer: Why you little--

Nice brush work, Emily. Nathaniel, you could learn a lot from her.

Marge: Oh God! Someone carved swastikas on your eyes.
Homer: Oh Marge, I'm sure it was just some guy filled with hate.

Marge: (About the Merry Go Round) Can I go again?
Homer: All night, baby.
(Bart and Lisa groan.)

Old Man: I say let him fish it off. These waters are so barren, by the time he pays off the debt; he'll be as old and as queer as I am.
Homer: Queer-strange or queer-gay?
Old Man: A touch of both. (Laughs crazily, then makes kisses in the air to Homer)

Marge: Homer, that's too much sugar.
Homer: It's not sugar, it's carmel!

Homer: Give back that Holiday cheer, you bastard!
The Grumple: Never!

(Gil is eating chocolates from a heart-shaped box)
Gil: Hey Homer, it's Valentine's Day, what are you getting the misses?
Homer: (angrily) A heart-shaped box of chocolates!

Homer: Why did you let that loser into our home?
Marge: I'll tell you why--Christian charity.
Homer: Christian Charity? What does a porn star have to do with this?

Marge, admit it. You just can't say no to anyone. That's why you have three kids.

Homer: Time to do what I do best: Lie to a child.

The Simpsons Quotes

Lincoln, Lincoln. I've been thinkin'. What the hell have you've been drinkin'? Is it water? Is it wine? Oh, my gosh. It's turpentine!

Bart & Lisa

Yep, here's your problem. Someone set this thing to "Evil."