The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Honey, I brought you more sticks. (Homer drops a sack of popsicle-sticks on the bedroom floor). This is the most fun I've ever had giving you wood.

Wow, you made a sculpture of Magilla Gorilla!

</i> Homer

Homer: You kids like ice cream? (Pushes disclaimer button)
Disclaimer: Product contains neither ice nor cream. May contain trace elements of Mexican cheese. Do not consume.

Lisa: Go ahead, I don't think I'd be very good company.
Homer: Thanks for the heads up, we'll see you when we see you!

Marge: Homer, don't drink and drive!
Homer: Fine, I'll drive between sips.

Is it our anniversary? No, we don't have one this year.

Marge (reading Moe's note): "Dear pus bag . . ."
Homer: Whoa, Marge, who'd you piss off?
Moe: It's for you, pus bag!

(reading his poem)
There once was a rapping tomato,
That's right I said rapping tomato,
He rapped all day from April to May,
And also guess what, it was me.

Lisa: Moe marginalized my contributions!
(Homer and Bart gasp. Lisa runs away sobbing.)
Homer: No one makes my daughter sob and run!
Bart: He ruined her first Wordloaf!

Homer: I love these covered bridges. It's like driving through cute little houses.
Guy on Hood: That was my house, you moron!

(Maggie spits out cereal letters that spell 'Don't forge')
Homer: Don't forge? Don't forge what?
(Maggie spits out a T)
Homer: Ohhh, don't forget! Don't forget what??

Homer: This vibrating massage chair feels great.
Moe: That ain't a massage chair, it's just full of cockroaches.

Displaying quotes 325 - 336 of 1539 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!