(Angrily at the Rich Texan) Reeevenge!!!

(While crawling through a tunnel) I wonder how long this tunnel isssssssssssss! (Falls in water, into a cage that locks up). D'oh!

Judge: I sentence you to life.
Homer: You moron, I'm already alive.
Judge: In prison!

Oh little mouse, you are only thing keeping me sane. (Eats mouse.)

Lenny: (to Homer) Now get some sleep, you have a 9 AM rat helmet.
Homer: 9 AM!?

Texan: Look at all them stars How many do you think there are?
Homer: Two.

Snake: Hand over your wallet.
Homer: You don't frighten me!
(Snake shoots Homer)
Homer: Or my wife!
(Snake shoots Marge)
Homer: Or my--
Marge: Shut up!

Homer: We left plenty of food so you won't starve!
Grampa: Thank you!
Homer: I was talking to the cat!

I think the hook is touching my brain.

Homer: Do you think your mother will ever re-marry?
Bart: In about two seconds.
Homer: Why you little--

Nice brush work, Emily. Nathaniel, you could learn a lot from her.

Marge: Oh God! Someone carved swastikas on your eyes.
Homer: Oh Marge, I'm sure it was just some guy filled with hate.

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Mr. Burns: Oh, and one more thing: you must find the jade monkey before the next full moon.
Smithers Actually sir, we found the jade monkey. It was in your glove compartment.
Mr. Burns: And the road maps, and ice scraper?
Smithers: They were in there too, sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent! It's all falling into place...