Bart: Homer, Will you take me to buy a comic book Tuesday at midnight?
Homer: And miss the back half of Jimmy Kimmel? That's when he experiments, boy.

That was the greatest thing I've seen on a computer that I could talk about with you in the room.

If I wanted to pay for commercials I can't skip, I'd sign up for Hulu Plus.

Homer: Wait, you guys saw the new Radioactive man sequel?
Carl: Uh, it's not sequel,it's a reboot.
Lenny: Actually, this one undoes the stuff from the last one, so it's a deboot.

global warming. Huh, by pure coincidence every scientist was right.

Alright, 80s party! Where's the beef? Tear down that wall because I think the beef is behind that wall.

Homer: You like lies? Here's a few: College is expensive but it's worth it.

Homer: I'm sorry, Homer Junior. You'll occupy an idealized place in my heart that no one can ever quite fill.
Bart: Therapy, please.
Lisa: Me too.

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Marge: I'm a Schwarzenegger wife!
Homer: But you're also the housekeeper. so it's all good.

Eduardo: Did you hair burn off in a fire that trapped you in a candy factory?
Homer: I wish.

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Marge: I feel kind of melancholy.
Homer: Hmm...melon-collie.

Marge, they knew what they were getting into when their parents sold them to the circus.

The Simpsons Quotes

Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart