Just call me Borders Books cause I'll always be here.

My head hairs! I'm bald!

Carl: Why don't we talk about it over at Moe's?
Homer: It's not even noon.
Carl: Yeah, I got a watch, egghead.

Well, I'm not one for taking new jobs on a whim. But as we say in the snow plow business, I'm your astronaut.

Homer: Boy, why are your friends so dirty?
Bart: Dunno. Why are your friends such drunks?
Homer: Touche.

Hehehe, the brain is so stupid.

Homer: Listen, we swore we'd never go to sleep angry at each other.
Marge: I'm not going to sleep.
Homer: Well you didn't have two beers with your lunch.

Marge, I thought this was an innocuous lunch, but it's become terribly ocuous.

Hibbert:You may never see a film in 3D again. Hehehe.
Homer: But the storytelling is finally catching up to the technology.

Ned: I want you to punch me in the eye. If you do, then we're even according to Exodus, Leviticus, and Matthew.
Homer: You went and hired a law firm, eh. That's pretty aggressive.

Ned: Homer, I can't believe you're partaking with my parents.
Homer: Yeah, it's medicinal; we had a pain in our neck!

Oh, my gay dad is gay for gays.

The Simpsons Quotes

Horst: (Sinister) Okay, Mr. Burns, you win. But beware. We Germans aren't all smiles and sunshine.
Mr. Burns: (Sarcastic) Oooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans! (Hiding behind Smithers) Uh oh, the Germans are going to get me!
Horst: Stop it!
Man: Stop, sir.
Mr. Burns: Don't let the Germans come after me. Oh no, the Germans are coming after me.
Man: Please stop the "pretending you are scared" game, please.
Horst: Stop it! Stop it!
Mr. Burns: (Pause) No! They're so big and strong!
Man: Stop it.
Horst: Stop it, Mr. Burns.
Man: Please stop pretending you are scared of us, please, now.
Mr. Burns: Oh, protect me from the Germans! The Germans--
Horst: Burns, Stop it!

(Squishing an ice cream to his forehead) I'm a unitard!

Ralph