The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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[Chuckles] Look at that. There's finally a women in your life you can talk to

Raj: Whoa! What's your hurry, cowboy? Savor the moment.
[Raj and Howard slowly remove the plastic off Raj's new iPhone 4s]
Howard: Oh, yeah.

Bernadette: Boy, I don't know if I could be friends with Howie if we broke up.
Howard: Why not?
Bernadette: I'm a very vengeful person.
Howard: Really?
Bernadette: With access to weaponized smallpox.

Sheldon: Now, where were we? Oh, yes. Does anyone have any wood?
Raj and Howard: [Both snickering]
Sheldon: Oh, come on. I just want wood. Why are you making it so hard?

Sheldon: I want to build a road, but I need wood. Do either of you fellows have wood?
Raj and Howard: [Both chuckling]
Sheldon: I don't understand the laughter. The object of Settlers of Catan is to build roads and settlements. To do so requires wood. Now I have sheep; I need wood. Who has wood for my sheep?

I mean, even Donkey Kong had Donkey Kong, Jr., so he could teach someone how to kidnap princesses and throw barrels at Italian plumbers

Howard: Hey, we're here to support you, buddy.
Leonard: No, you're not. You're here to see if I get my underwear pulled over my head.
Howard: You wore underwear? You fool.

Howard: You interested in Amy?
Stuart: Well, I mean she didn't look through me with soul-sucking ball-shriveling hatred and contempt. I like that in a woman.

Howard: It's amazing people keep coming to comic book stores instead of just downloading comics digitally.
Leonard: It's probably for the best. For a lot of these guys, the weekly trip here is the only chance their mom has to go down to the basement to change their sheets.
Howard: Oh, that reminds me, I get fresh sheets tonight. Yay!

Raj: Come on, Sheldon, Star Wars.
Howard: I'm pushing play. I mean it. If we don't start soon, George Lucas is going to change it again.

Howard: What do you want us to do about it?
Sheldon: You clearly weren't listening to my topic sentence: Get your women in line!

Howard: Did we just see you pick up a girl in a comic book store?
Stuart: 'Cause if you did, you get your picture up there on the wall on the Wall of Heroes.

Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 323 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon