The Big Bang Theory

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory

Howard: What do you want us to do about it?
Sheldon: You clearly weren't listening to my topic sentence: Get your women in line!

Howard: Did we just see you pick up a girl in a comic book store?
Stuart: 'Cause if you did, you get your picture up there on the wall on the Wall of Heroes.

Leonard: Oh. Watch out, Sheldon. This little boy Casper is a g-g-g-ghost!
Sheldon: Droll.
Howard: Not as droll as a grown man passed out in a puddle of his own urine.
Leonard: That was pretty droll. With a hint of ammonia.

Raj: None of our gods have abs like that.
Howard: Yep, that's the last Jew who did sit-ups. And look where it got him.

Sheldon's mom: I bet your mom is really proud of you.
Howard: Nope. She says if I don't back out, she's gonna go on a hunger strike. It'd take years before she'd be in any kind of danger, but still....

Howard: You know, there's a saying we have at NASA. What makes the right stuff so right is that it always comes home.
Bernadette: Stop talking, Howard.

Bernadette: Are those Russian rockets safe?
Howard: Well, I mean, safe as it can be when it was build by the good folks who brought you Chernobyl.

Raj: Whatever, dude. She kissed me.
Howard: It might've been on your lips but it was my kiss.
Raj: Oh, fine, let's agree she kissed both of us.
Howard: Okay.

Raj: Okay, I'm going to play it cool. Tell her, "Maybe. Whatever, babe."
Howard [translating in sign language to Emily]: He'll text you.

Leonard: See, this is the good thing about having a girlfriend 9,000 miles away I can spend my nights doing whatever I want.
Howard: You mean playing nerd games with us and then taking a suspiciously long shower?
Leonard: Maybe.

Howard: Can you believe grown men sit around and play with toy trains?
Bernadette: That's pretty big talk for a man with a closet full of magic tricks at his mother's house.

Howard: This may be hard for you to hear, but when I say "honey," I mean my fiancee.
Raj [whispers into Howard's ear]
Howard: Yeah, well, now it means her.

Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 313 in total

TBBT Quotes

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

Leonard: What? You're afraid of both dinosaurs and chickens.
Sheldon: Yes, but tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot.

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