The Big Bang Theory

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Bernadette: I'm not going to live with your mother. Not now. Not ever.
Howard: Somebody, obviously, has some mommy issues.

Bernadette: I was head-hunted by a big pharmaceutical company. They're going to pay me a buttload of money!!
Leonard: Bernadette, that's great!! Howard, do YOU make a buttload?
Howard: Better than what YOU got a buttload of!

....I volunteered for the premature ejaculation project. I mean, it's not like either one of us has heart disease.

Bernadette to Howard

Howard: You gotta like this. The girlfriend, the ex-girlfriend bonding over your rooty-tooty stinky booty.
Leonard: Kill me.
Sheldon: It wouldn't help. The human body is capable of being flatulent for hours after death.

Howard: You gotta like this: the girlfriend.....the ex-girlfriend, bonding over your rooty-tooty stinky booty?
(all but Leonard laugh)
Leonard: Kill me!
Sheldon: It wouldn't help. The human body is capable of being flatulent for hours after death.

Whereas Jewish mothers take a casual la-dee-dah approach to their sons.

Leonard: Does your family have a history of heart disease?
Wolowitz: My family is the history of heart disease. There's a cave painting in France of one of my ancestors doing this. [mimicks heart attack]

Have you told your parents you're dating this short glass of skim milk?

Her freakishly small hands make anything look big. That's one of the reasons I love her.

Believe in magic, you Muggle!

That crazy bastard is looking at quirky in the rear view mirror.

I think it's like Beetlejuice. We said his name too many times.

Displaying quotes 157 - 168 of 313 in total

TBBT Quotes

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

Leonard: What? You're afraid of both dinosaurs and chickens.
Sheldon: Yes, but tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot.

× Close Ad